Man-tits don't make you look intimidating to other men, or attractive to women. The worst thing about man-tits might be how they jiggle up and down when your car goes over a bump, or it might be the fact that every time a woman puts your nipple in her mouth, you catch yourself wondering if she's some kind of lesbian. Before I hit puberty, I used to hope that my chest would look more macho when I could grow hair on it. Now that I can grow hair on it, I shave it off. So there you go.In the words of Seth Rogen, "Fuck you, hormones."
RATING: 18%, only because being a dude with a pair of tits forces you to come to terms with your anima, which is spiritually very liberating.
(Image of Simon Cowell from Maggao Blog. He and I look almost nothing alike, excepting our pasty, sagging chests.)
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6 comments:
Last year I dated a guy who's body was just pudgy enough to almost have man tits and every time he took off his shirt I was terrified that maybe the almost man tits had become actual man tits. It was particularly terrifying because it wouldn't take very big man tits to be larger than my B cups. Note to self, don't date any man with tits larger than your own.
Was he emotionally unavailable?
Boy was he ever!
Apparently a huge number of guys just have like, actual breast tissue. Which means that we're probably all bisexual.
Most of us, anyway. It's ironic that the male bonding taking place at the hardcore hetero end of the continuum is actually, like, the gayest shit in the world.
Jumping off John's comment...last night I went out dancing with some friends, but when we arrived at the club we had chosen we discovered that the dance party area had been overrun by frat boys who were all dancing with each other. It was the gayest scene I have ever witnessed. And this is coming from a fag hag who regularly goes out to gay clubs with a posse of gay men.
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