Cassette Tape Memories: Island Tape One

I made this tape in the summer of 2004, and yes, I guess it's a little embarrassing that I was still making mixtapes in 2004, but my purple Pontiac Sunfire only had a tape deck, so na. I was working as a bag boy at a grocery store, and had just realized I didn't want to go to med school, but would rather get a poetry MFA (you young idiot). The conceit of this tape was songs I'd like on a desert island? I still like all of them I guess, but my desert island list would probably be mostly different now.

RATING: 68%

SIDE A:

I Wanna Be Your Dog - The Stooges
Deceptacon - Le Tigre
Judy Is A Punk - The Ramones
Atomic - Blondie
Open Season - Imperial Teen
Connection - Elastica
Egg Man - The Beastie Boys
Blur The Technicolor (Poker from Stud to Strip Mix) - White Zombie
These Eyes - The Guess Who
What's the Frequency, Kenneth? - REM
Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting - Elton John
Black Dog - Led Zeppelin
Hey Ya - Outkast

SIDE B:

Teenage Riot - Sonic Youth
Crimson and Clover - Tommy James and the Shondells
War Pigs - Black Sabbath
Patti Smith Math Scratch - Thurston Moore
Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
Holland 1945 - Neutral Milk Hotel
Down In The Park - Tubeway Army
I Am A Scientist - Guided By Voices
Freedom Of Choice - Devo
Straight to Hell - The Clash

Cassette Tape Memories: Bull by Bootsauce

This is a really, really awful fucking album by a really, really awful Canadian band who would have never been on the radio if it wasn't for CanCon requirements. The main thing I remember about this tape was that at a friend's birthday party in grade seven Internet John, our friend John A. and I lipsynched the song "Touching Cloth" from this album in a lipsynching contest. We were the dorkiest kids in our grade, and nobody expected us to break it down with fake guitars and everything, so we won like 13 bucks! Then the birthday kid took the money and got drunk on wine coolers. That's ok, though, because while he was puking behind his house the rest of us were playing girls v. boys kiss tag and the drunk kid's girlfriend kissed me (score I guess?). So the lesson is if you like terrible RHCP cover bands and wanting to kill yourself, this album is for you.

RATING: 20%

Cassette Tape Memories: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

Probably my least favorite kind of music is the kind of music found on this soundtrack - late 80s/early 90s R&B/new jack swing garbage. But still I have a soft spot for all the ridiculous songs on this album, probably because I remember walking around my backyard with a Fischer Price tape player blasting it like crazy when I was 9. At the time I mainly listened to soundtracks, classical music, and jazz, so pop music wasn't really in my vocabulary until a year or two after I owned this album when a friend picked up a Louis Armstrong tape I had in disgust and told me "Glenn, cool people don't listen to Louis Armstrong. Cool people listen to C&C Music Factory." Well, he was half right I guess, but for now just check out some TURTLE Power if you've got a few minutes and I think you do.

RATING: 51%