A Month of Ill-Fated Consumer Products #9: Myspace

No one wants to wait for your garish background to load, no one wants to listen to your dumb favorite song, no one cares that you're pretending to be Grover or Satan, nobody wants to friend your crappy band, nobody wants to pay you to show your lopsided tits on webcam, and no one especially wants to read your miserable blog--they're busy using Facebook, where they can post by-the-minute status updates, create racist avatars on YoVille and check out last weekend's snapshots of you trying to take bottle slugs of Jagermeister with a lampshade on your head.

RATING: Old Yeller%

(Image from www.namedevelopment.com.)

Wow Containers

Wow Containers are plastic containers for people with no sense of capacity or volume. Say you made some food, but you made more than you could eat in one sitting. You could waste that leftover food (the new fad that's sweeping the nation) or you could store it in a container, so that it might be enjoyed at a later date. If you wanted to store said food and you were anything other than a complete moron, you would take a container that you already owned and then you would fill that container to full or nearly full capacity. Then, if there was still more food to be stored, you would simply repeat the process with another container. But now, thanks to Wow Containers patent pending Universal Quick Snap technology, there's a better way.

Rating: Wow Containers 8%
Rating: Wow Containers' Commercial 80%

(Image from asseenontvvideo.com)