Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead

Directed by Lloyd Kaufman and produced by (who else) Troma Studios, this is a movie about a fast food chicken... um, what does "about" even mean when it comes to Troma? You can see mutilation, poop coming out of a butt, and some meth-y lesbians making out topless.

RATING: ROMNEY%

A Month of Boring Things - Day Two: The Vegan Diet

Oh, gad. Here we go again!









Rating: 23% (points for health, animals, liberal condescension)

Protestant Guilt

Is like Catholic Guilt, only with a cardigan. Is like Jewish Guilt, without the sitcom. Is like Muslim Guilt, without the HALALALALALALALALLAH! It's different than White Guilt or Hawaiian Indigenous Peoples Guilt. If you feel like experiencing it, try having a few pints with a crazy foreign person and then driving home and asking yourself, "Yes that was fun, but shouldn't I have been plowing a field instead?"



Rating: Youmightbeagoodpersonbutthatdoesn'tmeanyouaren'tgoingtohellanyway%

(Picture courtesy of John Calvin, motherfucker)

Chuck Steak Maxi-Pad

Cheap steaks bleeding all over the inside of your fridge? You need the Chuck Steak Maxi Pad. I was going to throw it away, but then I thought it might help with that just-woke-up puffiness.

RATING: Bloody well 90%, innit?

(Image of me from right now. I don't usually leap out of bed and start grilling steaks, but it's Saturday, and they're about to go bad.)