Tales of Terror

Tales of Terror is made up of three short stories by Edgar Allan Poe, with Vincent Price playing a different character in each story. The first story, "Morella," is about a young woman reuniting with her alcoholic father (played by Price) after decades apart. The young woman, Lenora, was blamed for her mother's death and was sent away to be raised in boarding schools. After returning to her father's house, the ghost of Lenora's mother kills everyone and burns the house to the ground. In the second story, "The Black Cat," Peter Lorre plays a miserable alcoholic. After a renowned wine taster (played to the hilt by Price) steals his wife, Lorre's character gets his revenge by entombing the wine taster, his wife and their black cat in the basement "Cask of Amontillado"-style. In the final story, "The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar," Vincent Price plays Valdemar, a dying man who agrees to be put under hypnosis at the moment of death. The devious hypnotist, played by Basil Rathbone, traps Valdemar's soul in limbo and attempts to extort Valdemar's widow. Of the three stories, "The Black Cat" stands out the most because it's the only one of the stories that has any humor in it. Lorre and Price play very well off of each other and their wine tasting duel is easily the most memorable part of the film.

Rating: 63%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Dear Santa Claus, Go Fuck Yourself

I've never lived in a trailer park. I've also never been to jail. And yet despite that, there's something so familiar and nostalgic to me about Dear Santa Claus, Go Fuck Yourself. Maybe it's the soft focus of the early 2000s digital video, which gives everything a warm, gauzy sheen. Maybe it's the fact that I've lived in Nova Scotia for most of my life and I don't find the characters on Trailer Park Boys to be all that exaggerated. I can still remember when I first heard about the show and the rush of pride I felt as it started to find an audience outside of the Maritimes. Over the years, I was lucky enough to meet a few members of the cast in real life. I even got to speak with John Dunsworth a few times before he passed away. On several occasions, I got to watch people recognize him in public and see him turn into Mr. Lahey for them. You've never seen people smile so enthusiastically as they were being told to fuck off.

Rating: Weed and Hash%

(Image from Amazon)

The Night of the Meek

After showing up late and drunk, Henry Corwin gets fired from his job as a department store Santa. On his way home, he comes across a large sack. At first, it appears to be full of garbage. But, upon closer inspection, it turns out that the sack is actually full of presents. Overjoyed, Henry starts handing out gifts to all those in need. From the winos in the mission house to the poor children on the street. All Henry needs to do is reach into the bag and out comes whatever the recipient desires most. Despite being an episode of The Twilight Zone, there's no ironic twist to the story. Henry is briefly arrested, as it's assumed that the presents are stolen, but even the cops are quick to agree that the mysterious sack is supernatural in origin. The episode ends neatly and sweetly. "The Night of the Meek" is both thoughtfully existential and earnestly straightforward. It has a lot in common with Ziggy's Gift and Ernest Saves Christmas, both of which I love. I can't imagine that "Night of the Meek" shows up on a lot of Twilight Zone Top Ten lists, but I still found it to be a charming curiosity.

Rating: A Pipe and a Smoking Jacket%