25 Days or Less of Christmas Songs - #12: Put the Lights on the Tree

Sufjan Stevens, indie music troubadour and vaguely Christian singer/songwriter, has released a whole hell of a lot of Christmas music in the last few years. One of the better tracks, by virtue of it's animated video, would have to be "Put the Lights on the Tree." It's a pretty short, upbeat, somewhat whimsical song. Also, if you listen to the lyrics, it's kind of like an instructional guide for the holidays (Put the lights on the tree / Put the ribbon on the wreath / Call your grandma on the phone). But if indie whimsy isn't your style and you're looking for something for your saddo side, try "That Was the Worst Christmas Ever."

Rating: Festive epaulettes for your marching band uniform%

(Image Wikipedia)

25 Days or Less of Christmas Songs - #7: The Christmas Shoes

"The Christmas Shoes" is a treacly piece of shit by the Christian rock group NewSong. The lyrics of the song describe an encounter between the song's narrator and some poor kid who really wants to buy his dying mother some shoes for Christmas. The kid guilt trips the narrator into paying for the shoes and somehow valuable Christmas lessons are learned. Listening to this song is not advisable under any circumstance. What is advisable is watching the animated video that accompanies comedian Patton Oswalt's deconstruction and mockery of the song. (The video, while hilarious, contains offensive language and may not be suitable for a work environment.)

"The Christmas Shoes" by NewSong
Rating: Reindeer droppings%

"The Christmas Shoes" by Patton Oswalt
Rating: Christmas scotch%

(Image from breathecast.com)