Cloak & Dagger

Davey Osborne has a powerful imagination and everyone in his life (his father, his friends, the police) thinks he needs to grow up a little bit. So, when a real-life spy scenario falls in his lap, it’s not long before Davey realizes that he’s on his own. Cloak & Dagger is a Hitchcockian spy adventure for kids that has a dark tone that could only have come out of the 1980s. Henry Thomas stars as Davey and Dabney Coleman plays a dual role as both super spy Jack Flack and Davey’s struggling father. At times sweet, suspenseful and violent, Cloak & Dagger is a forgotten gem.

Rating: 72%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: William Forsythe, who played Morris, would go out to star in films like Out for Justice, The Rock and The Devil’s Rejects.

The Langoliers

A buncha disparate strangers including, you guessed it, an author wake up in the middle of their cross country flight to find that most of the passengers and crew and people of Earth have vanished. Luckily one of them is a deadheading pilot so he decides to set the plane down in, you guessed it, Bangor Maine to figure stuff out. Turns out they're out of sync with time and are about to be eaten by these little Pac Men creatures who clean up the past. I remember watching this as a kid and busting out laughing at how bad the CG was for the titular monsters was but figured maybe I'd be cooler with it now since even a lot of what I considered "good" CG in the 90s looks ridiculous in 2021 but no, this is still incredibly laughable. 

RATING: 31%

Psycho II

After twenty-two years in a mental institution, Norman Bates is deemed cured of his insanity and is released. This doesn't sit too well with Lila Loomis, Marion Crane's sister. Norman goes back to the Bates Motel and the home he shared with Mother. He takes a job at a local diner, where he befriends a young waitress named Mary. Things get off to a rocky start when Norman begins to find notes from his mother. Soon he begins to receive phone calls from Mother, as well as hearing her voice around the house. Is Norman losing his grip on sanity or is something more sinister afoot?

Rating: 65%

(Image from IMDB)

Fun Fact: Psycho II was written by Tom Holland, the director of the original Child's Play. It also stars Meg Tilly, sister of Jennifer Tilly.

Child's Play

I always wrote of this franchise as goofy pseudo horror, but I never actually sat down and watched the first one til the other day. It's good! Not that gory in the style of most mainstream 80s slashers, but great doll effects especially when he gets all burnt up. I imagine the late sequels don't get as bad as the late sequels of say Hellraiser, but that's a theory best left answered another October.

RATING: 76%

Thinner

This movie is about a fat lawyer who gets cursed by a gypsy for accidentally killing his daughter. In movies people always seem to have very negative opinions about gypsies, but, like, are there even roving bands of gypsies in America? To be fair, the curses the gypsies place on people always seem to be way worse than the transgressions committed. Maybe not so much in this movie, since the guy did get a mob boss off for murder and also killed somebody, but in Drag Me To Hell that curse was way worse than the nice lady doing her job at the bank. Anyway, this movie kind of sucks and the makeup effects are terrible, so don't bother.

RATING: 36%