Barbarian

 

In 2022 people are always like “This is groundbreaking horror nobody’s ever seen” and then it’s like a women is r*ped and tortured in horrible ways. This movie was still pretty decent and did interrogate the trope but not as wild as I was led to believe.

RATING: 73%

Enterprise S1E24 - "Two Days and Two Nights"

Risa is supposedly this really sweet pleasure planet space people go to get laid and etc but every Star Trek episode that takes place there is super boring. This one's no exception but at least Hoshi hooks up with a sexy alien instead of one of the dudes for a change!

RATING: 36%

My weekend in Key West

That picture of a completely devastated surf and turf that was paid for by my brother in law pretty much sums up how awesome my weekend was. Also, I rode a mechanical bull and stayed on for all eight seconds. Huz-zah.

Rating: 97%

Five Things Comprising Viking Andrew's Gigantic Cornucopia of Shit

Being broke might’ve been fun in school, when everyone around you was broke too and you could go to a party and say, “I’m so broke,” and your pals would say, “Me, too. God, I’m sooo broke,” and fall out in laughter. Take it from me, kids: it ain’t so fun when you’re in your twenties or thirties and out of school and still broke and everybody’s like, I thought you had a master’s and you try to explain to them that you do, that you got your master’s in being broke and now nobody at the cocktail party is laughing; they don’t think that’s a very funny joke. Sometimes you drink, but then people say Hey I bet if you quit drinking you wouldn’t be so broke. You can try explaining it to them, but fuck it; have they ever read The Collected Work of Insignificant Writer?

I see a pattern emerging here at R3.

Rating: 10% (Points added for the martyrdom delusion that comes with empty pockets)

(Photo courtesy humor)