Channel Zero - No End House

Some college kids visit a traveling haunted house where apparently each room is scarier than the last and if you go past like room eight nobody ever sees you again! That's basically the creepypasta there, but you need more for six episodes so there's some good stuff about grief and some monsters who eat pomegranate memories.

RATING: 88%

Channel Zero - Candle Cove

The premise of this show is that each season is based off of some old creepypasta. Sounds terrible, but this show is amazing. The first season centers around a creepypasta I remember from the early or mid 2000s about a mysterious kid show broadcast that maybe or maybe not was real, and also a monster made of teeth. Adding to the whole eerie atmosphere is the fact that they shoot the show in Manitoba which is like some weird simulacrum of western society. 

RATING: 83%

Ice Sharks

A group of research scientists in Antarctica are menaced by an evolved breed of killer sharks, Ice Sharks. Right off the bat, I will give the movie credit for using an unusual breed of shark, the Greenland shark, for its purposes. But that's about all the credit I can give. The plot is dumb, no surprise there. The acting is second-rate, also to be expected. But the CGI in the movie is a special kind of awful. It's laughably bad. It's the kind of bad CGI you might have seen in something from the 90s. But then again, it's a lot like what the comedian Richard Jeni once said about Jaws: The Revenge, the only people dumber than the people who made the movie are the people who watched it.

Rating: 39%

(Image from IMDB)

Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever

Here's something that few people can say or would admit: I bought Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever on DVD. Don't judge me. Now, did I buy it because I thought it would be good? No. Did I buy it ironically? No. I bought it because, as someone who loves Christmas specials and also once received a Grumpy Cat shirt as a gift, I felt it was my duty. And I'm honestly glad I watched it on DVD. Because, before the special played, there were trailers for other Lifetime movies and something called Gummibär: The Yummy Gummy Search for Santa, which looked like garbage. I was left thinking that there was no way the Grumpy Cat special could be as bad as what I saw in the trailers. And it wasn't. It was fine. It had a few laughs. Aubrey Plaza was perfectly cast as the voice of Grumpy Cat. I didn't hate it.

Rating: A Grumpy Cat Mug%

(Image from Amazon)

Last Christmas!

Disney rebooted DuckTales last year and from what I gather they've been doing a good job of modernizing the show for today's young audience while simultaneously paying tribute to all things related to Disney's stable of ducks. That's certainly the impression I got after watching the recent episode "Last Christmas!" It was essentially an indirect sequel to Mickey's Christmas Carol. They've changed the designs of the three spirits, but they're clearly making a callback to that classic special. One of the ghosts even says that they first met Scrooge McDuck when they were on their way to meet up with a different Scrooge. I'll skip over the plot of the episode, as it's just another riff on the classic Christmas Carol story, but I'd be remiss not to make mention of the stellar voice cast on the show. Scrooge himself is now voiced by former Time Lord David Tennant. He even makes a joke about time travelers. Bless me bagpipes!

Rating: Wendigo traps%

(Image from DuckTales Wiki)

Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas

There were a lot of "Very Special Episodes" of Community, including quite a few "Very Special" Seasonal episodes, but for my money, "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas" might be the best one. Abed, who already lived his life as though he were in a TV show, wakes up to find that he and his friends have become stop motion animated characters, not unlike those found in old-timey Christmas Specials. In the canon of the show, no one has actually been transformed into a silicon doll on a ball and socket armature. We, the audience, are merely being treated to a glimpse inside Abed's delusions. And what wonderful Christmassy delusions they are. Despite the best efforts of a Psychology Professor played by John Oliver, Abed takes everyone on a journey to find the "true meaning of Christmas." Will there be singing? Yes. Will everyone learn a valuable lesson? That's less clear. Will there be some jokes at the expense of Lost? You better believe it.

Rating: Christmas Pterodactyl%

(Image from Wikipedia)

A Very Sunny Christmas

It's Christmas Eve and the gang down at Paddy's Bar are trying to recapture the old Christmas spirit. Dennis and Dee attempt to get revenge on Frank by concocting an elaborate scheme loosely based on A Christmas Carol. Meanwhile, Charlie and Mack uncover some painful childhood memories. There's even a claymation hallucination, wherein the gang dismembers Frank while a pantsless elf looks on. If you've ever felt like your Christmas celebrations were missing the sight of Danny DeVito naked and sweaty, then A Very Sunny Christmas is just the thing you've been looking for.

Rating: Throwing rocks at trains%

(Image from itsalwayssunny.wikia.com)

12 More Days of Christmas Specials: It's a SpongeBob Christmas!

I've only ever seen a handful of SpongeBob SquarePants episodes before but, as far as I can tell, the stop motion animation special It's a SpongeBob Christmas! only differs from a normal SpongeBob episode in that everything is made of felt and clay rather than being traditionally animated. The plot of the Special finds Bikini Bottom's resident evil genius, Plankton, plotting to get everyone put on the naughty list by feeding them fruitcakes contaminated with jerktonium, thus turning them all into jerks. SpongeBob himself is immune to jerktonium due to his innocent heart and overwhelming capacity for Christmas Spirit. I have to give the makers of the Special props for having John Goodman do the voice of Santa (because everything is better with a little Goodman in it) as well as climaxing the special with a song called "Don't Be a Jerk (It's Christmas)." All in all, it's a bit more absurd and manic than what I usually look for in a Christmas Special, but it's still miles away from some of the treacly, depressing crap I've sat through in the past.

Rating: 68%

(Image from strangekidsclub.com)

12 More Days of Christmas Specials: Prep & Landing: Naughty vs. Nice

I wanted to kick off the holidays on a positive note this year, which is why I decided to lead off my annual Christmas Special binge with Prep & Landing: Naughty vs. Nice. I really enjoyed watching the original Prep & Landing special last year and I can happily say that the sequel does not disappoint. Everybody’s favourite elves Lanny and Wayne are joined by Noel, Wayne’s charismatic younger brother (voiced by Rob Riggle).The trio are on a mission from Santa to recover some North Pole technology stolen by a young hacker known only as jinglesmell1337 (yes, you are old and internet lingo has become the domain of children). Will Wayne be able to put aside his emotional issues (again) and effectively lead his team, thus saving Christmas? Spoiler alert: yes, he will.

Rating: 70%

(Image from movieposterdb.com)

Sharktopus

Jaws was one of the first movies I ever really obsessed over and becuase of that I've seen quite a few shitty shark and Jaws-style ripoff movies over the years. I've also seen a number of questionable Roger Corman productions in my time. Even with all that said though, I don't think anybody who purposefully elects to watch a movie called Sharktopus thinks they're in for anything other than a cheese fest. The acting, dialogue and CGI is all pretty much terrible, but you probably could have guessed that. I will say this in Sharktopus' defense though, I watched the movie in two sittings and when I watched the second half I wasn't exactly sober, which made the movie a lot more enjoyable.

Rating: 49% (In the sober light of day)

(Image from heropress.net)

Childrens Hospital

Childrens Hospital (and that's not a typo) is a comedy series currently airing on the Cartoon Network (despite the fact that it is not a cartoon). Originally created by Rob Corddry (formerly of the The Daily Show) as a web series in 2008, Childrens Hospital is an over the top parody of hospital dramas. The cast features a veritable smörgåsbord of veteran comedic performers: Rob Corddry, Ken Marino (formerly of The State), Rob Huebel (formerly of Human Giant), Megan Mullally (formerly of Will & Grace), and Henry Winkler (formerly of Arrested Development) among others. The humor on Childrens Hospital is somewhat absurd and anarchic, so it's probably not for everyone. But if you're a comedy nerd like me, this is a show you will not want to miss.

Rating: 85%

(Image from chicagonow.com)

The Ricky Gervais Show

The Ricky Gervais Show is an animated program currently airing on HBO. It adapts portions of popular podcasts and audiobooks featuring Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington. Regular features on the show include Monkey News, questions from listeners and seeing whether or not Karl understands popular phrases. The true star of the show would have to be Pilkington, with his nonsensical stories about monkeys and his dimwitted responses to simple questions. Gervais and Merchant's treatment of Pilkington would almost be considered cruel if it weren't so funny.

Rating: 92%

(Image from daemonstv.com)

The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory is an American sitcom currently in its third season on CBS. The show centers around two Caltech physicist roommates: Leonard and Sheldon. Leonard, the more socially adjusted of the two, carries the emotional arcs of the series, often showcasing his on-again-off-again relationship with his attractive neighbor Penny. Sheldon, the breakout character, appears to have either an autistic spectrum disorder or Asperger syndrome, but in a fun way. The show balances typical sitcom plots with funny characters and clever, geek friendly humor.

Rating: 80%

(Image from tvshowsondvd.com)