Retractable Leads

Congratulations! You have just purchased enough rope for your dog to hang itself with. Literally. And while your beloved pet is causing egregious bodily harm to my person, you are five hundred yards away, using your iPhone to set up your next semi-anonymous sexual encounter.

Rating: 10% (points given for the glorious smell of your dog's shit on my front lawn).

This post by Viking Andrew.

(Image from www.petspantry.tv.)

Dogs and Ponies

Dogs and ponies are our animal friends. Just don't ever feed dog food to a pony or try to put horseshoes on a dog.

RATING: 86%, because 12% of dogs and 2% of ponies will maul Glenn's face if he gets too close.






(Image from simplymarvelous.files.wordpress.com. Read Vicky Hearne's wonderful book Adam's Task for a philosophical discussion of animal personhood.)

The FURminator

At $22.99 + shipping, the FURminator might seem like a crazy waste of money, but I swear to you it was worth every penny. That picture is an actual photo of all the fur that came off of Thelonious the first time I used it on him. And then I went back later and used it some more and got another pile that was about the same size. I cannot for the life of me figure out where this cat was hiding all that loose fur, but he actually looks and feels thinner now. And now when I pet him I don't get loose fur flying all over and sticking to my face and stuff. In short, this cat brush is the greatest thing I've ever bought for my cat and I highly recommend it even with the high price tag.

Rating: 90% (10 off for it being so damn expensive)

My Cat Thelonious

The only bad thing about Thelonious is that he has a tendency to sneeze on my roommate and guests. Otherwise he's quite adorable and friendly. And very cuddly. All the things a good cat needs to be.

Rating: 95% (5 off for the sneezing)