Being Out Of Town

When you're out of town, you're away from all your stuff and responsibilities, but, news flash, you could be in another town or city, so you're not really out of all towns everywhere. Sometimes being out of town is fun because you can see people you know or new scenery like trees etc, but I guess being out of town can also be bad like if you're kidnapped or if Elliot Ness wants you to stand trial for robbing a bank in a different state. Most people spend most of their time in town wishing they were out of town, and most of their time out of town wishing they were in town, but you just can't please humans so don't bother trying.

RATING: 65%

Nashville

In case you didn't know, Nashville is a city in the United States. It is the supposed capital of country music (debatable), and also home of Pancake Pantry. It's a very pretty city, full of hills and wildlife and such, but one bad thing is that almost everybody there is really unfriendly. Every time we went to some store or restaurant we got the evil eye like we were about to make impossible demands of the people who worked there. Also, if you sing karaoke in Nashville get ready because everybody will be good and actually will get offended if you get up to the stage and are bad. In conclusion, Nashville, much like Austin, would be cooler if it wasn't for the Nashvillains, as I like to refer to them.

RATING: 57%

Driving

Driving is a convenient way to get around locally if you know how to do it. Sometimes you might even drive to a far away place like, say, Nashville, because it is way cheaper than flying. Well, even though it is kind of cool to see some scenery, driving for 13 hours really wipes you out especially if you eat Dairy Queen, which is not as good as you remember it being when you were a kid. In conclusion, if you drive for 13 hours you should not go to a bachelor party right after, because you will be no fun at all.

RATING: 73%

Buildings

Sometimes you can perhaps go in a building, which can be a good thing if it is way hot outside, and sometimes a cop or a pretend cop can say "Hey, don't go in here you're not authorized!" Most of us live in buildings, and some of us might live in a cool city with lots of tall buildings. Sometimes maybe a building burns or falls down, to which I say "Yo, building, shape up or ship out! Your job is to stay standing and hold people!" Mainly though tall buildings are cool to look at and admire even if everybody knows you're a tourist and says "Fuck you buddy, this is NewYork," but they say it in one of those movie accents.

RATING: 88%

Salvia Divinorum

Drugs are bad, m'kay? But salvia is legal, so I hope I'm not besmirching the reputation of this blog too badly by reviewing it here. You can grow salvia in your garden if you want, and it's a hardy plant, but the leaves taste like ass if you smoke them, and they aren't strong enough to have a psychoactive effect. Concentrated salvia extract also tastes like ass, but it gets you higher than a midget handcuffed to a weather balloon.

The buzz is not a fun one. For me, it was characterized by extreme "out of body" disorientation, a loss of motor control, a sense of dismemberment (the top half of me got up and fell off the couch, while my legs remained sitting down), auditory hallucinations (voices said, "Should we take him with us?"), and a strong and pervasive sense of fear and malevolent weirdness. Also, everything kept rolling to the left, and my horizontal and vertical axes were all messed up. When I came down, after a period of approximately 10 minutes, I was disturbed and agitated for another half-hour or so.

I think some psychedelics, if used responsibly in a therapeutic or spiritually-oriented manner, can be quite beneficial to some people. Salvia, on the other hand, is like a Filipino drag queen knife fight in your head. I don't expect to ever try it again.

RATING: 12%

(Image from psychoactiveherbs.com)