Bruiser

A dude wakes up one day with no face (well, a blank white mask where his face was) and decides to finally kill all those people who cheated on him or denied him a promotion or took five bucks out of his jacket.

RATING: 53%

(Here's my old reviews of Land of the Dead, Diary of the Dead, and Survival of the Dead, which wraps up George Romero!)

The Dark Half

A supposedly literary author who writes trash under a pseudonym starts to let his pen name take over his life and kill his enemies etc. Ya know, for an author with untold success, Stephen King sure has a literary fiction complex that seems to rear its head in his work an awful lot!

RATING: 51%

The Facts in the Case of Mr. Valdemar

This half of the movie Two Evil Eyes, for which Romero and Dario Argento each adapted a Poe story. Anyway, while trying to hide a hypnotized dead body, a doctor and his mistress accidentally put ghosts into the corpse, and believe me, you don't want ghosts in a corpse!

RATING: 44%

Monkey Shines

Monkeys aren't exactly scary but I guess if you had to rely on a monkey and it was giving you a bad name by killing birds and your friends you'd probably be a bit stressed out?

RATING: 41%

(Here's Ryo's take)

(Also here are my reviews of Creepshow, Dawn of the Dead, and Day of the Dead.)

Knightriders

I think it's a sign of a true artists that when you have a massive hit, say, zombie movie, you follow it up with swashbuckling motorcycle jousters who reenact King Arthur's court at various Ren Fairs. I can't recommend it enough!

RATING: 88%

(Here's my review for Dawn of the Dead from six years ago)

Martin

An awkward teen thinks he's a vampire, but there's more to being a vampire than killing people and drinking their blood. Or, I mean, I'd like to think Dracula didn't waste all that time in Vampire school just to have some kid do it better. Anyway, great, cheap sleaze and a lot of teen sadness.

RATING: 81%

The Crazies

Well Quammy already brought up this Romero B-Side, but I'm watching every Romero flick in order so I figured I'd weigh in. It's got some great scenes, and great cinematography if you find a good copy, but it's tough to care about these characters as they fight a government infection or w/e.

RATING: 63%

Season Of The Witch

Aka Hungry Wives, aka Jack's Wife, a frustrated middle age housewife starts reading some books about witches and whatnot (but like if I read Dracula that doesn't make me a vampire you know) and sleeps with the lead from There's Always Vanilla. It's not exactly a horror movie, so I shoulda posted it in September I guess though there is a little psychedelic freak factor.

RATING: 40%

There's Always Vanilla

For Halloween this season I'll be running through every George Romero flick. His follow up to Night of the Living Dead is a weird romantic comedy about a hippie who looks as square as squaresville and a commercial model but it's too disjointed to succeed in the mainstream or the indie circuit, whatever that was in 1971. He hates it, and you should too.

RATING: 26%

(Here's my eight year old take on Night of the Living Dead.)

The Crazies

If you look up "The Crazies" on IMDB, the first search result you get is for the 2010 remake. And that's probably because it has over 87 thousand user review scores. The original 1973 version of The Crazies has less than 8 thousand user review scores and let me tell you, that's a damn shame. For whatever reason I, and apparently countless other horror movie fans, had never seen this movie before. I was missing out and if you haven't seen it yet, you are missing out. It's the missing link between what Night of the Living Dead was and what Dawn of the Dead would eventually become. And yet, there isn't a single zombie in it.

Rating: 73%

(Image from impawards.com)

Creepshow 2

Creepshow 1, or as it's usually called, Creepshow, is one of my favorite movies of all time. It's shot in a way that mimics the old EC Comics style, and combines the talents George Romero and Stephen King like some kind of horror movie Voltron. This one is just kind of lame. Romero and King return, but instead of acting as director and writer, they return as scripter and inspiration, respectively. I like the last segment in this, "The Hitchhiker," but only a little bit.

RATING: 44%

Monkey Shines

A monkey licks blood of a man's mouth, quadrapelic sex, a mother bathes her thirty year old son; you will find all this and more in the very creepy Monkey Shines.
This particular George A. Romero film is far less gory than his zombie fare, but as a whole, the movie experience is really moving.
Pretty impressive making a grown man scared of a capuchin monkey. Props to you, Mr. Romero.

Dawn Of The Dead

#1 on Glenn's Top 100 Movie List

So the number one pick for my list shouldn't be a surprise to basically anyone who knows me, because I've made every one of my friends watch this at least once. This horror movie sequel to Night of the Living Dead imagines a zombie apocalypse that disintegrates society more and more, so a quartet decide to hole up in a shopping mall where - oh, why am I even explaining this to you? The blood is a weird color and it's a rough movie in construction, but the writing, atmosphere and characterization are the best. No movie makes me feel better watching it than this one. If you haven't seen it, and I can't imagine that's true since the site's audience is mainly people I've probably forced this movie on before, then you really need to go rent it from wherever even rents movies anymore, pronto buster.

RATING: 100%

Survival Of The Dead

Another George Romero zombie movie, and perhaps a chance to redeem himself after Diary of the Dead. The plot here is a couple of Irish families have conflict on an island off the coast of Delaware? Ugh, we get it, we get it, we're the real bad guys. Also all of the gore is computer generated and looks tres fake.

RATING: 43%

Day Of The Dead

A Month Of Halloweenie Reviews #20

I've seen this movie countless times, and in many ways I love the weird synth music, the gory bits, and the desperation of the whole affair. But oh my Jesus if you want serious melodrama, look no further. I know, I know - it's a movie that takes places months after zombies have overrun the planet, of course there's going to be melodrama. But every single line is screamed in some totally phony accent, most of it about how awful humanity is. We get it, George, we get it. Still, "choke on 'em."

RATING: 66%

(Link is NSFW as you can probably imagine)

Land Of The Dead

We are probably all in agreement that George Romero's Dawn Of The Dead is one of the greatest horror movies of all time. Well, I think so. So when I finally got the opportunity to see him do zombies on the big screen I was totally psyched. It turns out the movie is good, but for anybody unfamiliar with Romero's zombie movies I bet it's a confusing mess. For instance, this takes place many years after zombies have already destroyed society with no explanation, so everybody is holed up in this walled off city to protect themselves. That's fine if you've seen Night, Dawn, and Day many times like I have, but if you're just some friend who got dragged to see this by me then maybe you are still angry or something. At least there's a lot of good gore.

RATING: 67%

Night Of The Living Dead

#70 on Glenn's Top 100 Movie List

This movie is really great because even though the premise is motherfucking zombies, the real meat of the movie is human interaction leading to the disintegration of society. Then that was the real meat of every George Romero movie for the next 40 years. This movie is kind of tame now, but I can't imagine how freaked out people must have been in 1968 to see zombies eating human intestines. Now I think they have a segment on Sesame Street where zombies show the letters of the alphabet by using intestines. Or maybe it's Elmo who does that.

RATING: 88%

Creepshow

#98 on Glenn's Top 100 Movie List

I guess I can't explain this one except that in my mind it is way better than Casablanca and Dracula. Both no shows on my list. Really, there isn't a horror movie that is more fun to watch than Creepshow. Plus, Leslie Neilson in a dramatic (sort of) role. And Stephen King in a starring role. Ok, maybe that's not a selling point. But he does get covered in moss.

RATING: 86%

Diary Of The Dead

Diarrhea of the dead.

RATING: 16%