Short reviews of pretty much whatever. Finally, you can discover if Frosted Flakes Gold has more social worth than Illmatic or Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare.
I'd sure like to eat it now, but there's no telling when a student is going to show up for his or her scheduled conference, and if I'm eating it when a student comes to my office then I'll show weakness by proving that I, like all humans, must eat. Also, it's hard to pick a reasonable color for turkey in MSPaint.
Man, fuck all that government FDA bullshit! I don't give a good God damn about some fucking salmonella garbage, so the only way you're prying my peanut butter away from me is from my cold dead hands. The government's always talking shit like "don't eat tomatoes," or "don't eat green onions," or "don't eat puppies," but I say they are forgetting a little old thing called the First Amendment that guaranteed us Freedom of Eats. Everybody always gets scared about sickness, but I myself am scared of a nation in which I can't eat a peanut butter and jam sandwich in peace. So chew on that 44th president, your first task is to stop fucking with deliciousness.
Atheism is a religion mainly for people who are really pretentious and condescending. Basically it is when you without a doubt believe there is no God, supreme force, connective tissue, or anything in the universe other than what you see because you're soooooo great and know everything congratulations. I guess being an atheist is fine whenever you come to that conclusion through science and reason, but one thing I hate is when people become atheists because they had a shitty week or something. "My car got stolen and my great aunt Petunia died, therefore I now know there is no God." Like what, he's your personal servant or something? Your sandwich sucks and it's God's fault? If you get into a philosophical argument with an atheist then it's probably going to be just as frustrating as getting into a philosophical argument with a Christian, so it's probably better to just talk about the Mets/Jets/Rockets/Blue Jackets instead.
If somebody were to ask "Glenn, what's your favorite food?" I would respond by saying "Sandwiches!" which is totally cheating because there are a billion different kinds of sandwiches. Sandwiches are great because of this though, and a lot of them are very delicious. There's the ice cream sandwich, the tuna fish sandwich, the peanut butter and jam sandwich, the ham and rye, the ham and swiss, the ham and turkey, the roast beef, tongue, liverwurst, chicken salad, pimento, grilled cheese, salami, pastrami, turkey and brie, brie, turkey, etc etc etc. The only terrible sandwich is the nutella sandwich, colloquially known as the "shit sandwich," sorry to be crude dudes and dudettes call your local FCC office if you wish to log a complaint.
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