Sunday, August 2, 2015

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - "Past Prologue"

One of Kira's past resistance associates cons her into helping in a terrorist plot but more importantly Garak shows up and woos Julian for the first time.

RATING: 52%

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - "A Man Alone"

Julian, look, Jadzia is not interested, pal! Oh, and some murderer gets murdered and everybody believes Odo did it.

RATING: 62%

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - "Emissary"

The Federation takes over a dilapidated space station watching over a rural planet recovering from a terrible occupation but there ends until being a blue fancy tunnel inhabited by space gods that makes the place actually cool.

RATING: 91%

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "Chain of Command"

Picard gets kidnapped by Cardassians where he is stripped naked, tortured, and forced to eat rotten food which played a lot different in the early 90s.

RATING: 77%

Friday, July 31, 2015

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "Quality of Life"

A scientist accidentally makes little sentient pet robots so Data has to stick up for their rights. Also Geordi grows a beard!

RATING: 44%

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "A Fistful Of Datas"

Data and Geordi are toying with (an obvious plot setup) which results in Data's likeness taking over Worf and Alexander's wild west game on the holodeck. You know, the holodeck seems fun and all but it's obviously much too dangerous for kids or adults or really anybody at all to fuck with.

RATING: 65%

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "Rascals"

Ha ha I kinda think this episode is fun, sorry.

RATING: 63%

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "True Q"

An honors student gets an unpaid internship on the Enterprise (well, every position is unpaid on the Enterprise) but then it turns out she's one of those omnipotent honors students.

RATING: 41%

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "Schisms"

The crew can't sleep well because they're getting abducted by space aliens. I mean, space aliens that are even more space-alieny than usual.

RATING: 55%

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "Relics"

The ship finds Scotty, and La Forge is at first mean to him but then warms up to him whenever they have to band together to rescue the Enterprise from a giant space bubble.

RATING: 61%

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Monday, July 27, 2015

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "Time's Arrow"

They find Data's five hundred year old severed head in a cave on Earth so the crew travels back in time and enlists the help of Mark Twain to stop some blue space ghosts from eating human souls.

RATING: 81%

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "I Borg"

The Enterprise takes in a stray Borg and names him Hugh while Picard is like "We're NOT keeping him!"

RATING: 68%

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "Cost of Living"

Lwaxana Troi and Alexander have fun in a holodeck circus spa program as the Enterprise computer is getting turned into pink goop.

RATING: 51%

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "The First Duty"

Wesley and his college friends pull a deadly stunt and Tom Paris the little shit is like "no, we're in it together, lie for me."

RATING: 57%

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "Cause And Effect"

The Enterprise gets exploded over and over like a fiery version of Groundhog Day.

RATING: 63%

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "The Outcast"

Major points off for when the crew gives a bunch of misogynist stereotypes when explaining the "inherent" characteristics/social roles of men and women, but good effort for making a show in 1992 about homophobia in America.

RATING: 46%

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "Ethics"

Worf is paralyzed in an accident and wants to die, but everybody's like no don't die and guess what, he doesn't.

RATING: 62%

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "Power Play"

Space ghosts possess O'Brien, Data, and Troi so they take over the ship in an episode that is maybe Colm Meaney's audition tape for DS9?

RATING: 75%

Monday, July 20, 2015

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "Conundrums"

Everybody's memory gets wiped on purpose by some nefarious so and sos and Worf thinks he's captain, Data thinks he's a bartender, and Ro and Riker think they're doing sex.

RATING: 83%

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "The Masterpiece Society"

A group of colonists genetically engineered to be super boring is in danger from a big ole starpoop.

RATING: 41%

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "Violations"

Ugh fuck this episode.

RATING: 1%

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "Hero Worship"

A kid's parents get killed on another starship so he starts to pretend to be an android since Data rescued him but what I wanna know is how come they put this kid back in school like one day after his parents die???

RATING: 49%

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "New Ground"

Worf has to deal with being a single dad while the Enterprise chases a laser wave through space.

RATING: 52%

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "A Matter Of Time"

A really annoying time traveler comes on board to see/swindle the famous Enterprise and hit on Dr. Crusher.

RATING: 38%

Friday, July 17, 2015

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "Unification"

Spock goes missing on Romulus so Picard and Data go undercover in makeup while the Enterprise visits a junkyard.

RATING: 71%