Monday, March 30, 2015

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

I kinda think the budget problems and sloppy direction make this movie  feel most like a TOS episode of all the movies. Anyway, some religious fanatics take over the Enterprise in order to find... Eden... hmm.

RATING: 81%

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

The crew of the HMS Bounty (nee Enterprise) must travel back to the 1980s to save the whales. This one manages to skate by the cloyingly ridiculous plot by having terrific character moments from every one of the bridge crew.

RATING: 77%

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

Spock maybe isn't so dead after all so Kirk breaks McCoy out of a mental hospital, steals and blows up the Enterprise, and kicks Judge Doom into a lava pit in order to save him.

RATING: 100%

Star Trek: Grissom - "One Moment of Humanity"

While the Deltan crewman and Paul continue their romance, notorious tribble trader Cyrano Jones helps some Romulans try to steal the Genesis plans (but then he unhelps them so it's ok.)

RATING: 55%

(Where to place: Between The Wrath of Khan and The Search for Spock.)

Star Trek: Grissom - "The Stars My Destination"

Grissom's crew is falling in love and also they have to repel a Tholian strike force. What's with all these faux poetic titles fan productions use anyway?

RATING: 64%

(Where to place: Between The Wrath of Khan and The Search for Spock.)

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Star Trek - "Mudd in Your Eye"

Interstellar thief, pimp, and swindler Harry Mudd has negotiated peace between two planets where everybody gets two or three deaths, depending on who's counting.

RATING: 91%

(Where to place: Between Spock's Brain and For the World is Hollow And I Have Touched the Sky.)

Star Trek: Grissom - "The Price of Virtue"

It seems almost cruel to flesh out some of these characters that we know are gonna die - here the Grissom has to save some folks from Klingons, who don't really seem to get along with this ship of scientists.

RATING: 63%

(Where to place: Between The Wrath of Khan and The Search for Spock.)

Star Trek: Grissom - "All Rumors of Wrath, Past and To Come"

On its way to Genesis, the USS Grissom stops to rescue a scientist from a wacked out Deltan. I try not to criticize the acting of these fan productions but interesting choice to make David Marcus super British?

RATING: 31%

(Where to place: Between The Wrath of Khan and The Search for Spock.)

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Kirk's old pal Khan steals a wmd so the good admiral has to stop him with a ship full of students while patching things up with his estranged son. I don't have to tell you things don't work out so great for everybody involved.

RATING: 100%

Star Trek - "Strangers from the Sky"

There's already so little at stake in Star Trek books set during the shows and movies (no lasting changes to established characters or ideas etc) yet this book lowers the stakes even more by having it center around Kirk reading a book and then dreaming he's in that book.

RATING: 11%

(Where to place: Between The Motion Picture and The Wrath of Khan.)

Friday, March 27, 2015

Star Trek - "Time For Yesterday"

Spock's son Zar (uh, long story) must come to the future to mind meld with the Guardian of Forever, which is malfunctioning and out of warranty.

RATING: 49%

(Where to place: Between The Motion Picture and The Wrath of Khan.)

Star Trek: Legacy - TMP Era

Missions 9-10

Admiral Kirk finds that pesky evil Vulcan scientist, and it turns out her experiment was creating Borged out Klingons, ruh roh!

RATING: 69%

(Where to place: Between The Motion Picture and The Wrath of Khan.)

Star Trek - "The Human Factor"

Peter Pan Records

Ugh, big fuck you to the guy who decided to give Sulu a racist 'Asian' accent in this audio drama.

RATING: 0%

(Where to place: Between The Motion Picture and The Wrath of Khan.)

Star Trek - "The Man Who Trained Meteors"

Peter Pan Records

After a mad scientist kills like two million people the Enterprise must stop him, and of course they end the day with a joke.

RATING: 8%

(Where to place: Between The Motion Picture and The Wrath of Khan.)

Star Trek - "Spock's World"

Vulcan is maybe gonna secede from the Federation unless Spock, McCoy, and, to a lesser degree Kirk filibuster for three days or maybe just catch some conspirators in the act.

RATING: 63%

(Where to place: Between The Motion Picture and The Wrath of Khan.)

Thursday, March 26, 2015

The Space Museum

The Space Museum is a bit of a letdown. It's not bad, it's not good, it's just alright. Which is a shame because the first part of the serial is easily one of the best single episodes of Doctor Who that I've seen so far. After a strong start, the remaining installments play out like lackluster retreads of countless previous episodes. There's even a Dalek cameo at one point, which gives our main characters a chance to reminisce about some of their previous (and more popular) adventures. Things work out great for Vicki here though, she not only gets to show off her intellect but she plays a pivotal role in the story. Susan rarely got to be such an active player when she was part of the Doctor's entourage. The serial ends by teasing that the Daleks will once again be facing our heroes, which only reinforces the feeling that The Space Museum is pretty inconsequential.

Rating: I must confess I didn't enjoy the refrigeration%

Star Trek - "The Kobayashi Maru"

While stranded on a shuttle, Kirk, Chekov, Sulu, and Scotty trade stories about taking the infamously sadistic Kobayashi Maru test, which I'm not 100% sure was created with sound pedagogy.

RATING: 60%

(Where to place: Between The Motion Picture and The Wrath of Khan.)

Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Kirk and all the old gang team up to stop a giant space cloud from eating planet earth, featuring at least four lengthy sequences of crazy color effects that ought to be choice cuts for any stoner.

RATING: 90%

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Star Trek: Titan - "Sword of Damocles"

The Titan tries to make first contact with a new planet except they got a giant spacetime bubble in orbit that has a real short temper.

RATING: 87%

(Where to place: After Nemesis, right before the Destiny crossover.)

Star Trek: Secret Voyage

Since the Enterprise just finished its five-year mission and is sitting in spacedock doing nothing, it gets staffed full of special ops people who go on a secret mission, though not so secret that they can't take a huge famous spaceship or wear bright primary colors or anything.

RATING: 12%

(Where to place: Between The Counter-Clock Incident and The Motion Picture.)

Star Trek: Aurora - "Aurora"

A pretty decent fan animated film about two freight hauling pals, one of whom was forced to eat her whole dead family to survive when she was a kid no biggie.

RATING: 76%

(Where to place: Between The Counter-Clock Incident and The Motion Picture.)

Star Trek - "The Lost Years"

I always thought there'd be some amazing revelations in this book, but Spock and McCoy get sad about a scientist who dies saving Vulcan from the Romulans and that's about it.

RATING: 55%

(Where to place: Between The Counterclock Incident and The Motion Picture.)

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Star Trek: Legacy - TOS Era

Missions 6-7

Near the end of their five-year mission Kirk has to steal a Klingon bird of prey and who's hanging out in Klingon space stirring up trouble? A certain evil Vulcan mad scientist named T'Uerell.

RATING: 66%

(Where to place: Between The Counterclock Incident and The Motion Picture.)

Star Trek: Legacy - Enterprise Era

Missions 1-5

Archer rescues a Vulcan scientist and how does she repay him? By trying to infect a buncha colonies with a space disease.

RATING: 61%

(Where to place: Between Terra Prime and These Are the Voyages.)

Star Trek - "Ptolemy Wept"

Flint visits the Enterprise to DJ a couple sets of his music.

(This isn't totally finished yet but I watched all 50 minutes before I realized that)

RATING: 70%

(Where to place: Between The Counterclock Incident and The Motion Picture.)

Star Trek - "The Counter-Clock Incident"

The ship falls through a door to another universe where time moves backwards and everybody becomes kids.

RATING: 58%

Star Trek: Antyllus - "Contamination"

Maybe something you should avoid when you encounter a floating Maori head in space is inhaling a lungfull of their millennia old space dust.

RATING: 52%

(Where to place: Between Friday's Child and The Changeling.)

Star Trek: Antyllus - "Restoration"

The science officer meets a kid who is really a piece of her which explains why she's been so out of it for the past six years.

RATING: 16%

(Where to place: Between Friday's Child and The Changeling.)

Monday, March 23, 2015

Starship Farragut - "Conspiracy of Innocence"

Some alien superchildren hypnotize Captain Carter in order to figure out if he's the kind of guy who gets angry when he's hypnotized.

RATING: 61%

(Where to place: Between Bem and The Counter-Clock Incident.)

Star Trek: Antyllus - "Vicious Circle"

The captain kinda revels in obliterating an entire species but oh well!

RATING: 26%

(Where to place: Between Metamorphosis and Operation: Annihilate!)

Starship Valiant - "The Artellian Gambit"

The USS Valiant has to help save some talking rocks from being used by the Klingons for fuel.

RATING: 36%

(Where to place: Between Bem and The Counter-Clock Incident.)