Snowboard Academy

Chris and Paul Barry are complete opposites. Chris lives to shred fresh powder and Paul can't stand his brother's carefree snowboarding ways. With their family's ski resort struggling financially, Chris tries to convince his father that setting up a snowboarding school is just what they need to turn things around. But as soon as things start to improve, the insurance company insists on an inspection and Mr. Barry's estranged wife hatches a plan to sabotage the resort. Despite only being 88 minutes long, Snowboard Academy is a slog. The plot limps along with no sense of urgency. Several characters have terrible, unnecessary accents. And Jim Varney's warmed over Ernest shtick doesn't really work here.

Rating: 50%

(Image from Wikipedia)

The 'Burbs

Ray Peterson can't seem to enjoy his vacation. He becomes obsessed with the strange lights and sounds coming from his neighbor's house. Nobody on the block seems to know anything about Ray's neighbors, the Klopeks. On the surface, they seem to be a quiet family who keep to themselves. But, buried just below the surface, something truly strange might be going on. Joe Dante's The 'Burbs is an absurdist comedy with a Twilight Zone edge. In his first role as a father, America's Dad Tom Hanks leads a terrific cast that includes Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, Corey Feldman and Henry Gibson. The 'Burbs has a great sense of scale. The whole movie takes place on one street and yet everything is given a grand sense of significance. The movie's dialogue is snappy and all of the main characters are unique and well defined. The 'Burbs is an excellent showcase for Joe Dante's comedy and horror sensibilities.

Rating: 78%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: A couple years before he played Hans Klopek in The 'Burbs, Courtney Gains played Malachai in the original Children of the Corn. 

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning

Poor old Tommy Jarvis (played in a dream sequence by Corey Feldman, played in the rest of the movie by somebody else) is being trucked off to the nut house. It seems that all has not been well for Tommy in the years since he killed Jason Voorhees. It should be a chance for a fresh start, but when one of the troubled (and likely horny) teens at Tommy's halfway house gets hacked up with an axe, it's only the beginning of the bloodshed. How's Tommy supposed to recover in a town full of horny teens, crazy rednecks, 50's greaser throwbacks, drifters, coked up horndogs, and guys with really sweet vans? Plus, is Jason somehow back from the dead? (Spoiler: No, he's not.)

Rating: Speared through an outhouse wall%

(Image from horrordvds.com)

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

Everything should be smooth sailing for young Tommy Jarvis (played by über thespian Corey Feldman). Now that the local axe weilding maniac is dead and his body has been taken to the morgue, things should be nice and calm for once around Crystal Lake. Then again, the cabin next door is being rented by a bunch of horny teens. And there's some guy lurking in the woods looking for his missing sister or something. But Jason's dead...right? I mean, what could go wrong?

Rating: Corkscrew through the hand%

(Image from iconsoffright.com)