Saturday, March 25, 2023

The Amazing Spider-Man

The least interesting part of any super hero film is the origin story. It's even less interesting in a reboot. The Amazing Spider-Man spends almost an hour, nearly half of the film, on Spider-Man's origin story. The movie also spends a lot of time on plot threads that don't really go anywhere, like the mysterious death of Peter's parents or the search for the man who shot Uncle Ben. It's hard to tell if the movie is setting things up for the sequel or if it's just working from a bad script. Also, the casting in The Amazing Spider-Man doesn't really work for me. No one delivers a bad performance but none of the actors feel particularly suited for their roles. Andrew Garfield's Peter Parker feels a little too cocky for my taste. That said, I think Garfield's performance in Spider-Man: No Way Home did a lot to redeem his version of the character. At the end of the day, The Amazing Spider-Man isn't a bad film, it's just underwhelming and forgettable. Not exactly a great launching pad for the reboot of a high profile character.

Rating: 62%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Friday, March 17, 2023

Underworld

In the seventies, Doctor Who started using a special effects process called colour-separation overlay (CSO), an early form of green screen technology. The results weren't always convincing, but it allowed the budget-conscious show to put actors into any number of exotic locales. When done well, CSO was hardly noticeable. When done poorly, CSO could be very distracting. The Underworld serial is a prime example of bad CSO. A lot of Underworld, fittingly, takes place underground in caves. But instead of filming in actual caves, which had been done well in earlier stories like The Mutants and Revenge of the Cybermen, CSO was used extensively to insert the actors into cave backdrops. The end results were far from seamless. Logistically, I can understand why they did it. Trying to have K9 move around inside an actual cave would have been impossible. But, unfortunately, the CSO winds up tarnishing an already mediocre story. As far as the plot goes, Underworld is very similar to the First Doctor story The Ark. So much so that I can't really be bothered to recap it here. Ultimately, Underworld isn't a terrible serial. At the very least, it's better than The Invisible Enemy, which isn't saying much.

Rating: No hard feelings%

Sunday, March 12, 2023

The Octagon

Scott James, played by Chuck Norris, is a retired karate champion and a bit of a dick. Scott's estranged brother, Seikura, is running a ninja training academy for terrorists somewhere in South America. Everyone in Scott's life is either trying to convince him to put a stop to Seikura and his men or they are actively getting killed by Seikura and his men, sometimes both. If Scott decides to take action (would it be much of a movie if he didn't?) he'll need to get past all of the terrorists and all of the ninjas in order to face his brother, one on one, in the Octagon. ("The Octagon" is a reference to the terrorist training camp, because it's kinda shaped like an octagon. We get to see plenty of the camp throughout the film, but the octagon-ness of it all isn't really something that gets shown or remarked upon until the last twenty minutes of the movie. You would think that, since they decided to call the movie The Octagon, it might be more prominent in the film, but not so much.) Much like JCVD, Chuck Norris is a kicker and he kicks the shit out of a whole bunch of terrorists and ninjas in this movie. The Octagon also features Spaghetti Western legend Lee Van Cleef and Art Hindle from The Brood and the original Black Christmas. I could talk about The Octagon all day long. It feels like a movie that was tailor made for me. I urge everyone to check out The Octagon if, for no other reason, just to hear Chuck Norris's super echoey overdubbed monologue. It's all stilted and whispery. It's great.

Rating: 59%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: Ernie Hudson, of Ghostbusters fame, is in The Octagon, briefly.

Saturday, March 4, 2023

Masters of the Universe

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
was a gold mine for Mattel in the early 80s. It made sense that they would try to translate that success into a feature film. Why they chose Cannon Films to make that happen remains a mystery. What we do know is that the movie bombed and was a key factor in Cannon's eventual bankruptcy. Watching the movie now, it's clear that Cannon invested some serious cash (by their standards) into the production. It's a very expensive looking low budget film filled with costumed extras and decent special effects. It's also clear that Cannon and Mattel pulled the plug early and He-Man and Skeletor's climactic battle had to be cobbled together on the fly with no money. It's not surprising that the movie disappointed audiences when it was first released. Nobody went into a He-Man movie expecting to watch the girl from that Springsteen video mourning her dead parents. Despite the film's flaws, I can appreciate it for what it is. I mean, how can you hate on a movie where Billy Barty tries to talk to a cow?

Rating: 62%

(Image from Wikipedia)