Amazon Women on the Moon

A loose compilation of sketches lampooning modern life and entertainment, Amazon Women on the Moon is one of those movies that “they just don’t make anymore.” Not so much because of the content, though some of it runs a little edgy and risqué, but mostly because they don’t really make theatrically released comedies anymore. And, similarly, sketch comedy films have been largely absent from theatres since their heyday in the late 70s. Amazon Women on the Moon incorporates contributions from five directors, including Joe Dante and John Landis. And, as the opening credits inform us, it features ‘lots of actors.’ Even though it’ll never be on the Mount Rushmore of 80s comedies, Amazon Women on the Moon still contains a few great gags.

Rating: 69%

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Meatballs Part II

There’s trouble at Camp Sasquatch when the camp across the lake, Camp Patton, threatens to revoke Camp Sasquatch’s access to the lake. What’s a Summer Camp without a lake? Going for a Hail Mary, Coach Giddy strikes a deal Colonel Hershy, whichever camp wins the Champ of the Lake boxing match at the end of the Summer wins the rights to the lake. After Camp Patton takes out Boomer, Camp Sasquatch’s boxing hopeful, it’s up to a juvenile delinquent counselor-in-training named Flash to save the day. Spoiler alert: he gets some help from a visiting alien named Meathead. Meatballs Part II is a goofy 80s comedy that wants to be edgy and raunchy at times but never crosses the PG line. The cast includes Richard Mulligan, Kim Richards, John Larroquette, Paul Reubens, Archie Hahn, Jason Hervey and Donald Gibb. Meatballs Part II is a dumb movie filled with tons of gags, many of which have not aged well, but it maintains an easygoing charm.

Rating: 61%

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Fun Fact: In one scene, some of the campers are seen watching director Ken Wiederhorn's 1977 Nazi zombie movie Shock Waves.

Ski School 2

A few years have passed since we last saw Dave Marshak, the intrepid party animal hero of the original Ski School. Having been kicked off the mountain, Dave is living in a trailer park until he receives an invitation to his ex-girlfriend Beth’s wedding. Determined to get both Beth and his mojo back, Dave returns to the mountain to face off against Steve Longwood, Beth’s snooty fiancée. While the original Ski School isn’t, technically, a “good” movie, it has a certain charm to it. Ski School 2, however, is a pretty bland affair. In the first movie, Dave is an unflappable, infallible goofball trickster. In Ski School 2, he’s a beaten down scamp who refuses to grow up. Sadly, the magic of the original Ski School is gone and there’s no amount of nudity that can bring it back.

Rating: 52%

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The Sure Thing

Walter Gibson and Alison Bradbury couldn’t be more different. She’s a studious pragmatist and he’s more of a slacker goofball. But the two become reluctant travel companions over Christmas break when they try to get from their snowy New England college campus to sunny California. The Sure Thing is a romantic comedy in the grand tradition of classic films like It Happened One Night, just with more pork rinds this time around. The leads are charmingly played by Daphne Zuniga and a particularly fresh-faced John Cusack. Anthony Edwards and Tim Robbins also appear in the film in memorable supporting roles.

Rating: 73%

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Munchies

While on an archeological expedition in Peru with his father, aspiring comedian Paul Watterman discovers a small alien creature. At first, the alien appears to be friendly, so the pair bring it back to the US. But after being kidnapped and mistreated by Paul's uncle, the alien's violent side emerges. And, as is soon discovered, any attempts to kill the alien are either ineffective or cause it to multiply. With a growing gaggle of would-be Gremlins causing havoc all over town, the race is on to stop the Munchies before it's too late. Produced by Roger Corman, Munchies is an unabashed Gremlins rip-off. It's very cheap looking and not nearly as funny as it thinks it is. The Munchie puppets aren't particularly expressive or impressive, much closer to a Ghoulie than a Gremlin.

Rating: 53%

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Fun Fact: Robert Picardo and Wendy Schaal, who played the ice cream shop owners that got attacked by the Munchies, were both in The 'Burbs as well as a number of other Joe Dante films.

Meatballs

If you don't think about it too hard, Meatballs is actually a beautiful movie. It's the story of an idyllic Summer filled with friendship, romance and personal development. Of course, once you get past that, Meatballs is also a story about hot dog eating contests, spying on girls and pantsing your rivals. Meatballs was also Bill Murray's breakout film and, as a word of warning, if you're not a fan of his early manic antics, then this is not the movie for you. While I would consider Meatballs to be a particularly raucous and ribald comedy, it's not nearly as raunchy as its sequels. In the grand pantheon on Summer camp cinema, it's a fairly chaste film. 

Rating: 69%

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Vampire in Brooklyn

Maximillian, a centuries-old vampire, travels from the Caribbean to New York City to find Rita, a half-vampire. Rita, unaware of her lineage, is a Detective with the NYPD investigating a series of brutal murders connected to a mysterious ship that crashed into a Brooklyn dockyard. Maximillian has only a short time to find Rita, woo her and transform her into a vampire completely. Should he fail, Maximillian would be doomed to walk the Earth alone. Did I mention that this is also a comedy? Sort of. That might be the biggest problem with Vampire in Brooklyn, tonally it's all over the map. It's a horror movie and a comedy and a love story. The movie is constantly jumping from one tone to another. The horror parts work but aren't given enough emphasis. The comedy almost exclusively comes from the supporting characters played by Kadeem Hardison and John Witherspoon. Eddie Murphy only really has one comedic moment in the movie where he transforms into an alcoholic preacher and delivers a sermon about how "evil is good." The love story, more of a love triangle, doesn't really work because the relationship between Angela Bassett's character and her partner, Detective Justice (yes, you read that correctly), isn't set up very well. While the film has some redeeming qualities, including a great nightmare sequence and appearances from Mitch Pileggi and Zakes Mokae, it doesn't entirely work. Also, it should be no surprise that the movie didn't connect with audiences, because it commits two major cinematic sins: Eddie Murphy's character kills a dog and a cat. Nothing turns audiences off faster than killing dogs and cats. 

Rating: 63%

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Wet Hot American Summer

It's the end of the Summer and everyone at Camp Firewood has a full day ahead of them. There's swimming, waterskiing, rafting, arts and crafts, capture the flag, marriage counseling, premarital sex and redirecting falling chunks of Skylab. Not to mention the big talent show. It's a lot to cram into one day. Wet Hot American Summer is a cult comedy through and through. You either love it or you hate it. Personally, I love it. It's an absurdist tribute to and parody of Summer camp comedies. The cast is incredible, with Janeane Garofalo, David Hyde Pierce, Molly Shannon, Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Christopher Meloni, H. Jon Benjamin, Amy Poehler, Bradley Cooper, Kevin Sussman, Judah Friedlander and several members of The State. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go fondle my sweaters. 

Rating: 73%

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UHF

George Newman, a dreamer and a screw-up struggling to hold down a job, gets his big break when he's given the opportunity to run his uncle's low-budget TV station. When George's wacky new programming ideas start to find an audience, he runs afoul of the local network affiliate. There are lines and bits from UHF that have been burned into my memory for the last 30+ years that will likely be with me until the day I die. Are some of the parodies in the movie dated now? Yes. Have some of the cast gone on to do bad things. Sure. That said, if Spatula City doesn't make you smile, you might not have a soul. 

Rating: 81%

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Hot to Trot

After his mother passes away, Fred inherits a talking horse and half of his stepfather's stock brokerage. Rather than selling off his half of the brokerage, Fred tries to make it in the world of high finance. And he begins to find success, thanks to stock tips from an unlikely source: Don, the talking horse. No, really. Because John Candy provides the voice of the talking horse, Hot to Trot has been on my radar ever since it was first released but I only recently watched it for the first time. It's not very good, but I didn't hate it. I'm not sure I'll ever watch it again, but I didn't hate it. The premise of the movie is pretty old school, something like a cross between a Marx Brothers movie and a wacky live action Disney movie from the 70s. There's plenty of great people in the movie like Bobcat Goldthwait, Dabney Coleman, Burgess Meredith, Tim Kazurinsky and Gilbert Gottfried. And yet, it's still not a very good movie. But, I didn't hate it.

Rating: 56%

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Fun Fact: Bobcat Goldthwait and Tim Kazurinsky were both in Police Academy 2, 3 and 4.

Ski School

Hoping to impress some prospective buyers, the manager of a ski resort decides to crack down on some of the resort's less desirable elements. At the top of the list, Dave Marshak and the party animals of ski school's Section 8. As a movie, Ski School is a pretty good amalgamation of the goofier parts of Ski Patrol and the hornier parts of Hot Dog... The Movie. It has its own comedic sensibility, which helps to set it apart from those other films. Much like Ski Patrol, Ski School was shot at a time when the 90s hadn't quite established its own identity yet. And, because of that, the amount of neon clothing in Ski School is staggering.

Rating: 69% (Party!)

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Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy

Dr. Chris Cooper invents a powerful new antidepressant, Gleemonex, which is rushed into production before it can be fully tested. The drug becomes massively popular until Dr. Cooper discovers some disturbing side effects. Like many of the sketches on the Kids in the Hall TV show, Brain Candy can be strange and dark at times. It's a movie about depression and corruption made by a sketch troupe that was in the process of breaking up at the time. Executives at Paramount balked at the inclusion of a character called Cancer Boy and, after the group refused to cut Cancer Boy out of the movie, Brain Candy received a limited theatrical release. It has since gone on to find a cult following.

Rating: 65%

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The Little Shop of Horrors

In an effort to keep his job at the flower shop on skid row, Seymour Krelboined brings in a strange plant he's been growing at home. The plant, dubbed Audrey Jr., proves to be a big hit, bringing customers into the shop from all over. There's only one problem, the plant feeds on human blood. The Little Shop of Horrors is a morbid little comedy from Roger Corman. It's probably best known today as the inspiration for an off-off Broadway musical and the film adaptation of that musical, directed by Frank Oz. Corman's original version was filmed quickly and cheaply, naturally, which gives it a theatrical vibe. Jack Nicholson briefly appears in the film as a masochistic dental patient. 

Rating: 60%

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Fun Fact: Audrey, Seymour's co-worker (not the plant), was played by Jackie Joseph. Not only did Jackie Joseph play Mrs. Futterman in Gremlins and Gremlins 2, she also played Tackleberry's mother in law in Police Academy 2 and 4.

Cemetery Man

A graveyard caretaker looks after the lawn and flowers and also has to re kill everyone buried there. Easy peasy until a lady he thinks is pretty gets buried! I mean, in my opinion it should still be the same difficulty because she is a corpse and etc. Really fun movie I’ve been trying to watch again for years and finally it’s streaming.

RATING: 83%

Police Academy: Mission to Moscow

A new addictive video game out of Russia has become a worldwide phenomenon. Authorities suspect that the man behind the game, Konstantine Konali, is actually a crime boss using the game to launder money from his illegal activities. Desperate to apprehend Konali, the Russians bring in Commandant Lassard and some of his most trusted associates. If the Police Academy franchise was feeling a little tired during City Under Siege, Mission to Moscow finds the series on life support. All of the charm and style of the Police Academy films has been replaced with subpar Hot Shots parody and shameless Three Stooges rip-offs. Jones, Tackleberry and Callahan return alongside Captain Harris, who's suddenly become a surveillance expert, and Cadet Kyle Connors, who joins the mission thanks to a clerical error. The cast includes Ron Perlman as Konstantin Konali and Christopher Lee as Commandant Rakov.

Rating: 50%

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Ninja Academy

A gaggle of screw-ups and oddballs sign up for a weeklong martial arts training camp. But when the camp is attacked by their sensei's rivals, the trainees are forced to put their new skills to the ultimate test. Ninja Academy is a fairly straightforward rip-off of Police Academy. The martial arts portions of the film are well done. The comedy portions, not so much.

Rating: 58%

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Police Academy 6: City Under Siege

A crime wave grips the city and the police seem powerless to stop it. At the behest of the governor, Commandant Lassard and some of his favorite Police Academy graduates are brought in to help. But, despite their best efforts, the gang responsible for the crime wave always seems to be one step ahead of the police. City Under Siege feels a little tired compared to the previous Police Academy films. All of the gags feel like they've been done before. That said, the chase sequence at the film's climax, which reminded me of the Las Vegas chase sequence in Con Air, goes big and I have to give the movie points for that. Sergeant Fackler, not seen since Police Academy 3, returns for one last accident-filled hurrah. Commandant Lassard's nephew Nick has seemingly joined the main squad following his introduction in Assignment Miami Beach. And Billie Bird, who played the gun-toting Mrs. Feldman in Citizens on Patrol, has a cameo in the movie, although she seems to be playing an entirely different character this time around. Sadly, this is the last film in the franchise to feature Hightower, Hooks, Proctor and Commissioner Hurst.

Rating: 60%

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Fun Fact: Gerrit Graham, who played one of the members of the Wilson Heights gang, was also in Child's Play 2, C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. and Sidekicks.

Summer Rental

After being forced to take some time off from his stressful job as an air traffic controller, Jack Chester packs up the car and drives his family down to Citrus Cove, Florida. Between the noisy neighbors and the overcrowded beaches, the vacation is far from smooth sailing (pun intended, you'll see.) Things only get worse for Jack after he runs afoul of Al Pellet, a big-time townie snob played by Rambo's Richard Crenna. Much like The Great Outdoors, Summer Rental is light on plot. Whether or not the movie succeeds will depend on your appreciation of John Candy's comedic stylings. Crenna is great in the villain role. And Rip Torn plays Scully, a local restaurateur who helps Jack learn how to sail. There's a great scene where Jack and Scully get drunk and play darts, which is a microcosm of the film overall, it's goofy but it's also heartfelt.

Rating: 74%

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Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach

Commandant Lassard and (most of) his favorite Academy graduates head down to a police convention in Miami Beach, where Lassard is set to be honored as the Police Officer of the Decade. But, after a mix-up at the airport, Lassard gets kidnapped by some jewel thieves. Can our favorite cops rescue Lassard and stop the crooks or will Proctor and Captain Harris just mess things up again? The gags are bigger and more cartoonish in Police Academy 5 but the change in scenery keeps things from getting too stale. Tab Thacker returns as Officer House from Citizens on Patrol and, in this installment, we're introduced to Commandant Lassard's nephew, Sergeant Nick Lassard. Nick is played by Matt McCoy, who does a good job, but, let's be honest, he's no Steve Guttenberg.

Rating: 62%

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Fun Fact: The jewel thieves include René Auberjonois from Deep Space Nine, Archie Hahn from Meatballs Part II (and several Joe Dante movies) and Ruben Rabasa from the focus group sketch in I Think You Should Leave.

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol

Hoping to fight crime and improve public relations, Commandant Lassard starts a new community action group: Citizens On Patrol. With the help of his favorite academy graduates, the C.O.P. program recruits and trains civilians to aid in police work. The program is successful at first, getting a wide variety of volunteers, everything from young skate punks to an elderly gun nut. But with Commissioner Hurst and Captain Harris scheming behind the scenes, the whole program might be over before it starts. Police Academy 4 plays like a greatest hits version of the previous three films, so nothing feels particularly original here. The plot is pretty thin, with various set pieces having little relevance to the overall story. I'm looking at you, ninja gang. This time around we see the glorious return of G.W. Bailey as Captain Harris, now with Proctor in tow. Something about that pairing just feels right. Unfortunately, this is the last hurrah for Sweetchuck, Zed and Nogata. But, perhaps worst of all, the movie ends with Steve Guttenberg's Sergeant Mahoney getting into a hot air balloon with Sharon Stone's character (yes, Sharon Stone is in this movie) and flying off, never to be seen again.

Rating: 65%

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Fun Fact: The young skate punks are played by David Spade and Brian Backer, who was in Fast Times at Ridgemont High and The Burning.