Rambo: First Blood Part II

In First Blood, we saw what a killing machine is capable of in a civilian setting. In Rambo: First Blood Part II, we get to see what a killing machine is capable of in a combat setting. Having been sent to prison for royally fucking up a small town, John Rambo is offered a chance at redemption. The mission: go back to Vietnam and investigate a camp that may be housing American POWs. Rambo is sent in with strict instructions not to engage the enemy. But, once again, the powers that be have severely underestimated the man they're dealing with. Rambo: First Blood Part II is a two-fisted action movie through and through. Any subtlety and nuance that was present in First Blood has been replaced with explosions and bullet holes. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.  

Rating: 76%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Piranha II: The Spawning

aka Piranha II: Flying Killers

Piranha II is not a good movie. At times it can be slow, boring, poorly edited and incoherent. The special effects don't look very good. Some of the effects may even have been re-used from the first movie. And seeing the movie now on blu ray certainly doesn't help hide any of its imperfections. Don't be fooled by the fact that this movie claims to have been directed by James Cameron. While he may have been behind the camera for most of the filming, the blame should fall at the feet of Ovidio G. Assonitis, the man who brought us Tentacles. Cameron was hired to replace the movie's first director but within days of starting on the project Assonitis took control of the film. And while Piranha II is certainly better than Tentacles, it still isn't very good. Also, if you can believe it, there are some reports out there that Lance Henriksen has described his time working on Piranha II as one of the worst experiences he's ever had making a film. Which is hardly surprising, considering they spelled his name wrong in the credits.

Rating: 59%

(Image from Happyotter)

Avatar

Ok, so we've all heard how terrible the plot of this movie is, but I have to say that I think we can put all of that aside and just enjoy the most amazing visual spectacle of a movie that I've seen in years, if not ever. Anyway, some space cats live on a planet and then humans come along to move them away from some valuable things. Also the space cats wear feathers in their hair and shoot bow and arrows GET IT??? I swear though if you see it in 3d you won't care about how dumb any of that sounds.

RATING: 73%

The Abyss

#25 on Glenn's Top 100 Movie List

The Abyss is the highest movie on my list starring Chris Elliott. It is the story of some deep sea dudes who suddenly get contacted by a water tentacle (tentacle rap?) and realize there are sentient creatures living under the sea. It's James Cameron, so you know it's going to be high melodrama, but I often find his particular brand of cacophony to be strangely moving. The end is some typical 80s message about why people shouldn't nuke each other to bits, but that doesn't ruin it because I for one am against people nuking each other to bits.

RATING: 93%

Aliens

#49 on Glenn's Top 100 Movie List

Typically the formula is that sequels suck. So what did James Cameron do? Make a totally different movie than Alien. This one is less of a monster movie and more of a pure action movie. Even to this day, 22 years later, it's tough to think of some action movies that hold up to the quality of this one. I guess the problem is that, in retrospect, the 90s was an awful decade for movies. Quelle dommage!

RATING: 89%

Terminator 2

#99 on Glenn's Top 100 Movie List

Probably one of the best action movies ever, and all of the chase stuff still holds up. See? You don't need people doing somersaults off of walls and shit to entertain people. And you don't need to go into slow motion every time something exciting happens. Why do people do that, anyway? It's total action bullshit. Like that's exciting? A bullet flying across the screen at 1 mile an hour? Kind of makes you wish John Woo was never born.

RATING: 85%