A Month of Ill-Fated Consumer Products #9: Myspace

No one wants to wait for your garish background to load, no one wants to listen to your dumb favorite song, no one cares that you're pretending to be Grover or Satan, nobody wants to friend your crappy band, nobody wants to pay you to show your lopsided tits on webcam, and no one especially wants to read your miserable blog--they're busy using Facebook, where they can post by-the-minute status updates, create racist avatars on YoVille and check out last weekend's snapshots of you trying to take bottle slugs of Jagermeister with a lampshade on your head.

RATING: Old Yeller%

(Image from www.namedevelopment.com.)

R3 on Twitter

Because we all need a little more R3 in our lives...Follow us at www.twitter.com/Review_Blog.

Rating: 101%

Obama's Elf YouTube video

This gets funnier every time I play it, but something tells me it won't last and soon I'll think it's completely lame.

Rating: 60% (for now)

The New Facebook

A lot of people say they don't like the new facebook. I say, "Why not?" I griped for a day or two, just like I did when I switched from lamespace to facebook after I got sick of finding 20 messages from horrible bands and webcam skanks in my inbox every day. Even if the new FB is slightly counterintuitive, that just means you waste even more time on it. And that, after all, is what it's for.

RATING: 78%

(Image from http://talktech.files.wordpress.com.)