Night Patrol

Imagine combining Mad Magazine with Benny Hill and the slapstick parody comedies of Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker. Then imagine taking most of the comedic talent out of that mixture. The end result would be something like Night Patrol, the hilarious* police comedy from the director of Blood Diner. If you thought Police Academy was too highbrow, you'll love Night Patrol. It's dumb and dated and vulgar. As far as this movies goes, if I could just get up on my high horse for a second, it's not a case of "they don't make 'em like this anymore." And more of a case of, "they shouldn't have made 'em like this at the time."

Rating: 48%

(Image from IMDB)

* Not hilarious

Blood Diner

I had trouble explaining what The Brood was all about, but I'm at a loss as to how I can properly explain Blood Diner. The long and the short of it is that it's about a pair of brothers who are trying to resurrect a Lumerian goddess and they go about it by killing people and collecting their body parts. The parts they don't use get served to the customers in their "vegetarian" restaurant. This is all at the behest of their serial killer uncle, who's little more than a brain and a pair of eyes in a jar. This is a movie that truly has to be seen to be believed because a plot synopsis can, in no way, accurately portray how bizarre this movie is. There's a nude aerobics class, wrestling Nazis, ventriloquist dummies, random violence, and much, much more. A true menagerie of WTF moments. If you can find a copy of Blood Diner, I highly recommend it.

Rating: Why isn't this on DVD%

(Image from 80sfear.com)