People who Sleep in Libraries

Are you homeless? Do you have a medical condition that causes you to fall asleep on public couches in the middle of the afternoon beneath incredibly bright fluorescent bulbs? Oh, you do? No. You don't. I know you ain't homeless, bro: your iPod is nearly as loud as your snoring. Look, I know the very thought of using your eyes for anything other than porno sends you into deep neurological shutdown mode. But Jesus. If I drop hardbounded editions of the Journal of Cross-Cultural Gerontology (yrs. 2006-2008) on the floor and half of your fellow students immediately jet for the emergency exit--believing they've heard a gunshot--and you, you cannot so much as stir, fart and a look around--that's on your drug dealer, man. That's on him.

Rating: 14%

Birthin' Book

What To Expect When You're Expecting is a guide for women with a bun in the oven. The format of the book is simple and sensible. It informs the reader month by month how their swelling body will continue to change, how a baby develops (it has fingernails by the third month!), and answers “real” womens' questions about pregnancy. The advice is not preachy or judgmental and puts (most of) your nerves at ease. So, if you are worried that trying to have a bowel movement at Wal Mart may lead to a baby in the toilet, or if you want to know if you can do cocaine off a transexual stripper's ass during your pregnancy, this book is for you.

RATING: 92%