Ben and Jerry's Half Baked Fro Yo

Half chocolate with chunks of brownie, half vanilla with chunks of cookie dough. The cookie dough is nice and salty, but the brownie chunks kind of have a raw egg taste that I'm not really down with. Low fat dairy's watery translucency has its own charm, I guess, but the best thing about this stuff was the old guy at the cash who rang through my organic bananas and inorganic navel oranges and then said, "You had to go and ruin it all with that Tom and Jerry's."

RATING: 69%

(Image from froyogirl.blogspot.com. I wonder what else Fro yo girl blogs about.)

$1 Gingerbread House

The biggest sign that something is seriously fucked with America is that you can't eat gingerbread houses. Give me a break! This is what we do to laugh in the face of the poor and starving countries out there, make delicious looking confectionery dwellings to wave in the face of children and then say eating is forbidden? That's total bullshit. It also probably didn't help that the house was bought for a dollar two and a half weeks after Christmas, but if it was new I would have liked to eat it, thank you very much.

RATING: 23%

Peanut Butter Cookies

Peanut butter cookies end up getting a bad rap because a) they are not chocolate chip cookies. I guess that's the bad rap every cookie has to deal with, kind of like now every superhero movie will have to deal with not being The Dark Knight. Peanut butter cookies can be delicious, and when they have peanuts in them it's almost like a chocolate chip cookies, but they're just never going to close that cookie gap. No cookie is.

RATING: 68%

Cupcakes

In America, despite the fact that we love to eat huge portions all the time, we also like to miniaturize food. For instance, pizza pockets, White Castle/Krystal burgers, and cupcakes. A cupcake is a cake that is made in a cup, duh. You can eat it and then say you ate a whole cake and people will all be like "Wha????" but then you can say "Naw, it was just a cupcake" and then they'll say "Oh, you!" Sometimes you can eat cupcakes for breakfast but that's bad for you even though I just did it. I hear they're next trying to invent the cupsteak, so be on the lookout in 2009 is what I'm trying to tell you.

RATING: 62%