As far as I'm concerned, there are 2 criteria for a manly stick of deodorant: flammability, and pit hair stuck to it. Old Spice Classic will burn like a torch if you so much as point a lighter in its general direction, which makes up for the fact that it's rather too wet to rip out a respectable amount of your other short and curlies. Who cares if it smells like your cousin Anthony's bail bondsman and gives you a worse rash than Tijuana did? Once you're done brutalizing your pits you can take it out back and kill ants with it.RATING: Not for pussies%
(Image from images.buzzillions.com.)
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6 comments:
I really shouldn't read these while I'm in my classroom. I nearly embarrassed myself laughing just now!
Actual ad copy from Old Spice website:
To the men who enjoy the classic smell of Old Spice, welcome home.
Welcome to a home filled with deer heads, huge fireplaces, unpublished manuscripts and gold-plated hot tubs. Old Spice Classic envelops you in a clean, manly scent that has served mankind for decades. And it fights odor all day, turning your armpit house into an armpit home.
• Decimates odor-causing bacteria without remorse.
I've spent my whole life looking for a deodorant that welcomes me to a home filled with deer heads and gold-plated hot tubs. Now I just need an unwaxed dental floss that subtly evokes a 3 star hotel room full of hookers and blow.
This shit reminds me of my 8th grade football locker room.
And by that I mean the coaches who watched us dress.
I did a little renovating in your absence. Although there are no deer heads or gold-plated hot tubs, there is a moose head and a coal-plated bidet.
I know what you are thinking. Bad feng shui, right? Don't worry. The moose head FACES the bidet so one can look at it while they clean their anus and genitalia.
"Genitalia?" That's even more pretentious than "Assorted teas."
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