Miracle Whip is a sweet, mayonnaise-type dressing consumed on sandwiches and in salads by people who fuck their cousins. What's scary is that there are diners other than Russians and burn victims who can't tell the difference.RATING: 10% in a jar, 2% on a ham salad sandwich at the church picnic.
*shudder*
(Image from ninecooks.typepad.com. Look closely and it gets even worse.)
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17 comments:
I like Miracle Whip more than mayonnaise. It was what I was brought up on. Mayonnaise is too fatty tasting.
You mom tastes too fatty.
(Nothing personal to Glenn's actual mom, who is a lovely woman.)
Yeah, what Glenn said!
Why Miracle Whip when you can enjoy the full flavor of mayonnaise?
You can't even compare Miracle Whip to mayo because MW has a weird salad dressing like flavor (the flavor of gross) while mayo is what Jesus puts on all his sandwiches.
Well, it's typically a substitute for those who don't use mayo (which is ridiculous).
MW is one of the only "foods" I don't like. Rabbit livers last night? Sure. MW? No thanks.
Thing is, mayo doesn't really have what I'd call a "full" flavor. Compared to Miracle Whip, mayo's actually kind of fatty and bland.
I don't NOT eat mayo. In fact, it's a big no-no to replace it with Miracle Whip in recipes. (mayo is mayo; miracle whip is technically salad dressing) It's just that I tend to put Miracle Whip on my sandwiches more often than I put mayo. Same as Glenn, it's what I was brought up on.
Tenacious D's song where they compare drinking Satan's semen to "gargl[ing] mayonnaise" doesn't help much, either.
Bland?
I just don't get it.
I've never had Miracle Whip because I come from civilization, but mayo is disgusting.
Loco, you know you love it.
Eggs and oil. Why not?
Eggs, fine. Oil, great. But why does it taste rotting?
Rotting? No, you seem to have confused mayo with something else.
I also don't really like salad dressing. Or salads. Good thing I live in Texas!
Salads? What's that?
I just ripped Loco's joke.
Punchline!
I'm happy to say that here at the end of summer, mayo is still awesome and Miracle Whip (which Glenn pronounces MAreacle Whip) still tastes like poo.
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