Thursday, January 15, 2009

Camaros

The reason we all love and admire Camaro drivers is because they serve as totems for our own pasts: we fondly remember the days when we too were as fast as the wind, six-cylinders roaring and rock-hard erections bulging from our acid wash jeans. (I’m assuming no female has ever owned or operated a Camaro.) Also, the Camaro transcends regional differences: simply change out the music genre blasting at a vulgar level from the tape deck. Lynyrd Skynyrd in the South and honky-tonk in Texas. Grunge out West and whatever bullshit music they listen to up North. Jazz, I’m guessing. Your cousin Anthony probably drove a Camaro before he went to prison.

Rating: 95%*

*There is a slight chance I accidentally reviewed Firebirds and not Camaros. If this is true then I say FUCK CAMAROS FIREBIRDS KICK ASS!

(Image from www.thirdgen.org. This review written by Viking Andrew.)

13 comments:

Evan J Peterson said...

Don't forget the Camaro cameo in Better Off Dead!

Anonymous said...

Thanks I.J. for posting this. Lemme know when you want my hot sports opinions on matters as fascinating ad wide-ranging as changing a flat tire to building a bookcase.

John said...

Books are for wimmin. I want to build a gun rack.

John said...

By my toilet.

Anonymous said...

I don't want to be vulgar, but it seems to me that guys who owned Camaros usually had small dicks.

Anonymous said...

Don't ever say that in front of Anthony. Ever.

LoCo said...

Small dicks or small brains. A medley, really.

laurie said...

I really hate these kinds of cars. Fugly. And yes, small dicks and small brains.

John said...

Women are always pretending they don't like stuff, but Anthony knows better.

Chris said...

I bet Anthony had all the bitches in town when he was driving that Camaro.

LoCo said...

True story: Anthony now has a five-year-old, and ugly wife, and a part-time gig at the Jiffy Lube.

Anonymous said...

usually people who say that someone else has a small dick are the people who are just insecure about their own small dick. Foreign cars suck DICK. Fuck You VW Owner

Anonymous said...

Have you peopl ever even met someone who owns a Camaro or are you just steriotyping