I used to be so annoyed by St. Patrick's Day in New York because come 5pm, you could not get into any bar, not even the crappy ones, not even a Cantina, without totally sacrificing your personal space to a drunk i-banker wearing the proverbial striped shirt. But at least everyone was celebrating in tandem. I tried to go out last year in Houston for St. Patrick's Day, and it was fucking depressing. It was like any other Saturday night, except with shamrocks pasted to the walls and maybe a special on Guinness, or shots of Jameson. Really? I guess in a state with no Catholics, I couldn't really expect there to be any Irish people, either. I didn't even want to go to my local bar to see the one Irish person I know in Texas, because I would have felt so sad for him, so far away from home, surrounded by all those Shiner-drinking Houston hipsters. (I love you, Paul!) Instead, I went to my local Fiesta, bought a large bottle of Guinness, and nursed it while watching Family Guy. That's as Irish as it gets in Texas, kittens. Here, St. Patrick's Day is code for "Relax, it's almost Cinco de Mayo."RATING: 22%
Posts
22 comments:
Sorry, Loco. It's just not our holiday. Try Oktoberfest in the Hill Country.
A state with no Catholics?
@Glenn,
I think that statistic represents a, uh, well, hmm, a different kind of Catholic...
wat does proverbial mean
HOLY SHIT that is Lakewood?? Is my mom in a cult? :( I want her to stop watching that Botoxed preacher guy.
What different kind of Catholic? We weren't even allowed in the KKK until they started getting really desperate.
Now, Oktoberfest in Germany... I want to go to there.
The kind of Catholic whose roots lie nowhere near Ireland.
Your mother watches Osteen? Oh, no. Intervention time.
I was going to work yesterday on Park and 42nd (around the corner from the parade route) right around parade time and Jesus Christ on the cross there were drunk people everywhere! And yeah, I was crazy envious that they were watching men in kilts and other uniforms (ok, I admit it, seeing all the men in uniforms in the parade gets me kind of hot) and drinking copious amounts of beer while I was on my way to work to well, work.
Anyway, I don't know where I'm going here. NYC really does go nuts for St. Patrick's Day, but really, we celebrate every fucking thing ever with a parade here. There are so many parades in this town that there is a show on the local public tv channel called Paradetown, USA and all they do is show videos of old parades. We even have a parade for Norwegian Independence Day. I think Jon Stewart once called it a parade driven economy.
In conclusion, my favorite NYC parades are the Deitch Art Parade, the Mermaid Parade, and the West Indian Day Parade. Mostly because they all involve crazy costumes and/or public nudity. Wait, what was I talking about?
I know my dad called and asked if I had watched the parade. I was like, where would I have watched it?
Paradetown! I need to watch some of that. I like the Mermaid Parade and the Gay Pride Parade (same weekend!), for the same reasons Laurie mentioned.
St. Patrick was Catholic?
I always thought that was the punchline.
And Houston has enormous parties, but only at specific bars...Grif's and The Tavern come to mind.
I actually tried to get into the Tavern last night and the cover was $15. I just laughed and asked them if they fucking thought we were in NYC.
Lame.
I stayed home, had a few Buds, and sang along with these guys.
@Loco,
A lot of "religious" people have a problem with Osteen, too, because he seems to proof-text the Bible to get across his message: If you work hard and are nice to people, God will give you a nice house and a new car. The problem seems to be that the entire Bible argues the complete opposite: If you work hard and are nice to people, those same people will probably mock, ostracize or kill you. My guess is Osteen never preaches from the Book of Job.
Yeah, if there's anything I learned in Sunday School it's that you're likely to be fed to the lions at some point.
In other words, religious masochism (see: martyrdom) is just as prevalent.
Who is this Osteen character you're all talking about?
He's some dude who holds church in the former basketball stadium here.... he's broadcast in the New Yorks at like 6 AM on Sunday.
On Cable.
Joel Osteen sounds a lot like the religious Christian Koreans I went to high school with... "if I pray harder, I'll get straight A's..."
I've never prayed harder in my life, than as a child, when I prayed for God to make my magic tricks work. With real magic.
It never happened.
I love that you had to point out that the magic never worked. Like we would have been wondering how that worked out for you.
Laurie, God turned people into pillars of salt.
Have a little faith.
I prayed hard for God to make my life better and he sent me to Dallas. Now I pray to Satan and he keeps me here.
Oktoberfest is gay. Scotchtoberfest rules.
Post a Comment