It feels like a bit of a platitude to insist that Denise Duhamel is the colorectal cancer of English language poetry, so instead of reviewing her I thought we could do a Denise Duhamel Madlib. Hopefully, you will find this exercise instructional.***
Wacky Noun
Fav. Barbie Type (ie Malibu, Politician, etc. visit the Mattel webpage for more suggestions or be creative.)
Place
Muscle Car
Phallic Object
Traditionally Male Organization (Army, the Skulls, etc.)
Adjective
Wacky Adjective
Traditionally Male Verb (Jerk-off, Fight, etc.)
Once upon a (Wacky Noun), (Fav. Barbie Type) Barbie went to (Place). Ken was there, waiting by his (Muscle Car) fiddling with his (Phallic Object). Ken was a devoted member (heh) of the (Traditionally Male Organization) and Barbie was (Adjective) because she thought she was just as (Adjective) as Ken. It was a (Wacky Adjective) day in Barbieland, so Barbie decided to (Traditionally Male Verb). She was out to prove she could do things as well as any man and no one could tell her she couldn't.
***
I think I need to help myself to a Tums cocktail. Insert your own line breaks (more-or-less arbitrarily) and add a racy title and you'll have a poem better than any Denise Duhamel poem I have ever seen. Or just write your own damn poem, see what I care.
Rating: Your poem: 5%
Denise Duhamel's: <1%
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14 comments:
So I begin my letter. Dear Boy George,
Do you ever sit and wonder what's gone wrong?
If there's been some initial mistake?
Well, don't be alarmed, but there
has been.
P.S. Hyperlink
That is better.
Oh oh... something tells me we'll hear from Evan on this one.
I don't read a ton (tonne) of poetry (voluntarily), but the Mad-Libs you posted sounds like more fun than the 80 billion poems about what animals do and how it's in some delicate way related to human experience. I think I will go out and buy some of this woman's poetries.
Well lookie here at Ms. Rockefeller here waving her money all over like a rap star! Hey, instead of buying a book of poems about Barbies why don't you just take the $15 and pay a hobo to drink turpentine. At least then you get a hobo off the streets for the night!
Is this the part when I'm supposed to go psychotic and smear my mascara and scream "Leave Denise alone!"?
She's a friend, so that already biases me towards her defense. Rather than splitting hairs about her poetry's strengths and weaknesses, I'll merely point out the fact that, as an "accessible" poet, easy to read and interpret, she draws young people back into exploring poetry after their high school English teachers have brain-raped them with "The Waste Land," a poem that no one except a college lit or writing major should ever be forced to read and interpret.
She isn't Brent Newland for fuck's sake. When did R3 get so mean to people who've done nothing to us?
heres mine:
Once upon a (bannana), (army) Barbie went to (arbys). Ken was there, waiting by his (el caminno) fiddling with his (towel (didnt know wat phallic mean)). Ken was a devoted member (heh) of the (kennel club) and Barbie was (bigbooobed) because she thought she was just as (bigboobed) as Ken. It was a (bigboobed) day in Barbieland, so Barbie decided to (pound ass). She was out to prove she could do things as well as any man and no one could tell her she couldn't.
and i agee with poster above:
Adults need to act like adults and not like little asshole children.
Holy fuck there's a Hollywood, FL?
where you see holywould fl
Sheila lives there or whatever the fuck her name is.
We're a review blog, after all, and there's a lot of stuff that sucks really hard out there. But the man with the hat is right. Only hating on people is bad for the blog, and it's bad for the soul.
I don't want this to turn into the Care Bears' Countdown, but I'm gonna try to be less mean from now on.
BNL is my fucking hero.
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