If there's one bi-annual event I hate the most it's going to the dentist. Today I got the metaphorical dental gang bang, which totally sucked. I had the hygienist on my right using the Cavitron (I'm not making this shit up), and some other chick, with 3 hours of training that apparently qualified her to take x-rays of my face on the left. They worked me real bad, tag team style, and that's what I get for going to the dentist who advertises on TV. Lesson learned. The thing is the dentist as a medical practitioner isn't necessarily that bad. They never do more than use their fingers and that metal stick with the mirror on the end to prod around (unless you're getting a root canal). But judging by the equipment they have in those little rooms I'm pretty sure they've got the proper equipment to perform a lobotomy on a patient while they're knocked out. That is if they aren't already giving you the literal gang bang while you're knocked out.RATING: 40%
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4 comments:
You should do what I do and not have dental coverage and therefore never go to the dentist. (My teeth really hurt).
I don't want to freak you out but by pure neglect I didn't go for like a year and came home with 7 fillings my first time back. The dentist said it was purely a coincidence though. They were old fillings that had fallen out. So you might be okay!
Don't neglect your teeth Glenn! You don't want to be like me...32 with dentures :/
Chris, you might think it's funny to joke about the dentist, but let MY experience sober your ass up, real fast. I went in for teeth whitening because I'd been drinking lots of dark beer and cola, sometimes even mixing the two. So I arrive, confess to some tooth sensitivity and the guy assures me, Hey relax, we know how anxious you are, so we'll just give you this gas...now breath deep.
Next thing I know, my eyes open and with my mouth propped wide up, so I can't scream, I see my dress undulating, something moving beneath it, a wet tongue and sharp whiskers working toward my....
Let me return to this another time, it hurts to recall...
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