Monday, December 7, 2009

25 Days or Less of Christmas Songs - #7: The Christmas Shoes

"The Christmas Shoes" is a treacly piece of shit by the Christian rock group NewSong. The lyrics of the song describe an encounter between the song's narrator and some poor kid who really wants to buy his dying mother some shoes for Christmas. The kid guilt trips the narrator into paying for the shoes and somehow valuable Christmas lessons are learned. Listening to this song is not advisable under any circumstance. What is advisable is watching the animated video that accompanies comedian Patton Oswalt's deconstruction and mockery of the song. (The video, while hilarious, contains offensive language and may not be suitable for a work environment.)

"The Christmas Shoes" by NewSong
Rating: Reindeer droppings%

"The Christmas Shoes" by Patton Oswalt
Rating: Christmas scotch%

(Image from breathecast.com)

8 comments:

Timmaaay!!! said...

The phrase "treacly piece of shit by a Christian Rock group" is redundant.

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

i dont knw i kind of liked that song

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

are there any jews posting on r3 (just curious)

DCP said...

Just me, Biker Rapist.

laurie said...

Why would his mom need shoes if she was dying?

laurie said...

I tried to listen to the song and made it through about 10 seconds before I shot myself in the face.

Quammy said...

@ laurie

The chorus of the song is as follows:

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please / It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size / Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time / You see she's been sick for quite a while / And I know these shoes would make her smile / And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

Patton's bit about the song breaks it down best, but in essence, the kid's worried that his dying mom won't look good enough for Jesus.

laurie said...

I just listened to the Patton bit and laughed till I cried. It was awesome. Thank you for that.