Perfect Brownie Pan

The Perfect Brownie Pan is a thing that you put into the pan that molds brownies into squares so you don't have to cut them with a knife (because that is clearly too difficult and time consuming for the average american). I have a real problem with kitchen items that only do one thing that you rarely ever need (waffle iron? no thank you, I will go to a damn restaurant on the rare occasion I want a waffle). Now, call me crazy, but something tells me that the brownies I am sure to bake every day once I get this thing are less to slide right out of the pan than they are to get all stuck on it and make the pan a real pain in my ass to clean. Just sayin'.

Rating: virtuallyuseless%

Snuggie

The snuggie is a product advertised on the television while you watch quality programming. Basically, it's a blanket, in your choice of red, blue or green, with sleeves for asshats who can't handle being blanketed on the couch, talking on the phone with Anthony, and watching football at the same time. Don't worry, though. If you're just as incompetent but think you can fool people into thinking you're above buying from the home shopping network, there's a new snuggie for you: the "designer" snuggie comes in animal prints or the "classic camel." You could also buy a snuggie for your pet, but Dog the Bounty Hunter may pepperball your OxyContin-using couch potato ass for cruelty to animals.

Rating- You look like a douchebag%

(Image from vvoice.ve.llnwd.net.)