Enterprise S2E7 - "The Seventh"

An episode where Enterprise toys with the political didactic I love in Trek, T'Pol hunts down a Vulcan who became a smuggler. He claims to be innocent and it seems like the show is criticizing America's then obsession with extralegal capturing of terrorism suspects but the dude turns out to be guilty so I guess it's actually praising those actions. Booooo.


RATING: 27%

Mac Users

Congratulations! You're officially the hippest, least racist, most humanitarian, kindest, gentlest, biggest dicked/tightest vaged computer users on the face of the whole planet. Now if only I could ever in a million years afford one of your electronic crash boxes then I would be able to count myself lucky enough to join the ranks of the elite.

RATING: 15%

Houston

I used to think that Houston was a pretty good city - it has a lot of world class museums, great independent restaurants, and is cosmopolitan in ethnic make up and world view. Then I got this job working with a bunch of people grading standardized tests, and it turns out I am the only person working there who lives inside the Loop (the center of the city, still pretty large), a place everybody else apparently considers to be a hub of crime and liberal gluttony. Seriously, when we talk about our favorite restaurants at work, everybody debates the merits of Cheddar's vs. Chili's, one person actually saying that with chain restaurants at least you know you'll always get a "good meal." I mentioned the Menil to somebody at work and he had never heard of it, and when describing Memorial Park to another person who lamented the lack of parks in Houston, she said she wouldn't go to a park inside the Loop for fear of being murdered by a homeless person (opposite). As somebody who spent much of his life growing up in the ass crack of nowhere, I can't imagine living next to a hub of culture and ignoring it, but I guess why go to a museum or ball game when there's a Dave & Buster's a mile away?

RATING: 35%

Orville Redenbacher's Natural Buttery Garlic flavor popcorn

For some reason when I bought this I thought it was the Paul Newman brand, and I felt good about that because they give all of their profits to charity or something. But it turns out this popcorn is actually from Orville Redenbacher, a ConAgra brand. You might know ConAgra from their raping the earth, discriminating against cripples and black people, doing some pretty awful things to turkeys, totally fucking ruining peanut butter, and just being generally shitty. The problem is that this popcorn tastes fucking amazing. It is not garlic-y as the flavor description would lead you to believe, but is instead the perfect amount (that is to say, heavy but not too crazy) buttery and salty. And it comes in these tiny little bags that are great because they don't lead to me eating a huge bag of popcorn all by myself, but are also not enough if I want to do some serious popcorn eating (which is why I ate two bags while watching The Office and 30 Rock on Thursday). In conclusion, this tastes like popcorn perfection and it is a real shame that my liberal guilt will never allow me to buy it again.

Taste rating: 80%
Company rating: 0%
Overall rating: Confusedandguilty%
Laurie's ability to take the fun out of everything rating: 40%