Showing posts with label star trek episode. Show all posts
Showing posts with label star trek episode. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Star Trek: Voyager - Season 1 Disc 3

"Emanations" - Harry Kim gets transported to a world that sends their dead to a rock in space thinking it's heaven or some garbage.

RATING: 40%

"Prime Factors" - Voyager goes to a pleasure world and EVERYBODY TURNS DOWN GETTING LAID. I hate this show.

RATING: 13%

"State Of Flux" - Turns out this minor character was a Cardassian spy, wowzers.

RATING: 3%

"Heroes And Demons" - The ship breaks I guess and in order to save it they have to go fight Grendel in holodeck Beowulf.

RATING: 21%

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Star Trek: Voyager - Season 1 Disc 2

"Phage" - Crazy space alien types steal Neelix's lungs. Hm.

RATING: 17%

"The Cloud" - Voyager encounters a giant single celled organism in space. Hm.

RATING: 25%

"Eye Of The Needle" - Voyager finds a wormhole back to the Alpha Quadrant except RATS it's only a few centimeters wide and DOUBLE RATS the only person they can contact through it is a Romulan and TRIPLE RATS it ends up he's been dead for twenty years.

RATING: 53%

"Ex Post Facto" - Some boring episode about Tom Paris murdering somebody, who knows, this show does suck.

RATING: 38%

Monday, April 6, 2009

Star Trek: Voyager - Season 1 Disc 1

"Caretaker" - {old joke mode} It figures that as soon as they put a woman in charge of a ship they get lost har har {/old joke mode}. Just kidding, obviously - this episode is actually a really strong, old school Trek feeling episode with weird banjo plucking aliens.

RATING: 78%

"Parallax" - Voyager gets stuck in some temporal anomaly, but don't worry, they talk their way out of it by using a lot of fake space terms like "temporal anomaly."

RATING: 65%

"Time And Again" - A pretty creepy time travel episode that is unfortunately ruined by one of those stupid time travelly endings that doesn't hold up to logic or story or my brain not exploding even thinking about it.

RATING: 65%

Friday, March 27, 2009

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - Season 2 Disc 7

"Tribunal" - The Cardassians kidnap Chief O'Brien and try to kill him for a crime that they actually framed him for, but then they get caught (whoops).

RATING: 57%

"The Jem'Hadar" - In this episode the titular, recurring villains are introduced for the first time... on a camping trip Sisko and Jake go on? That's boring, but you know what's awesome? This part.

RATING: 66%

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - Season 2 Disc 6

"The Maquis, Part Two" - I don't understand why Quark is allowed to stay in business if he gets caught selling arms to terrorists.

RATING: 79%

"The Wire" - Minor character Garak is addicted to drugs or something I guess and Bashir learns some things about him, or does he?

RATING: 62%

"Crossover" - One thing TNG missed out on is doing a "Mirror Universe" episode, but since this one ended up tres boring maybe they didn't miss out after all.

RATING: 39%

"The Collaborator" - I hate every episode that tries to deal with Bajoran religion, but I guess Nurse Ratchet does a good job as the evil woman you're supposed to hate.

RATING: 56%

Monday, March 16, 2009

The Way To Eden

In this classic episode of Star Trek a bunch of space hippies manage to hijack the Enterprise because they think they've found the garden of Eden and it's a planet. Man, they've got to increase security on the Enterprise if a bunch of lame hippies can hijack it. Anyway, turns out the planet is poison and not so much fun and everybody learns the valuable lesson that hippies are crazy and you can never trust them.

RATING: 67%

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Star Trek Phase II: Blood And Fire

As far as Star Trek fan projects go, Star Trek: Phase II is the "best," in that it has by far the best sets, special effects, and actual cameos by actors from Star Trek. However, despite having special effects a million times better than the show it homages, every episode has been a train wreck of bad writing, bad acting, and a ridiculous cutesy nature that pervaded all of Star Trek for the past decade or so. That said, the latest episode, "Blood And Fire," is actually pretty good. It's still stiff, but it accurately captures the feel of the original series. The plot is something about a disease and stranded ship, but meanwhile Kirk's nephew and his boyfriend decide to get married but it's the 23rd century so that's ok. Check this out, but avoid the other episodes in my opinion unless you want to see Sulu and Chekov played by George Takei and Walter Koenig. Fan films have certainly come a long way since I was doing stop motion animation with Legos in my basement.

RATING: 68%

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - Season 2 Disc 4

"Armageddon Game" - O'Brien and Bashir are helping some aliens get rid of biological weapons, but things go all screwy and O'Brien gets real sick (Boring).

RATING: 25%

"Whispers" - O'Brien comes back to the station but everybody's weird like what, they're robots now or some garbage?

RATING: 68%

"Paradise" - How come every planet in Star Trek is hella boring? Sisko and, you guessed it, O'Brien end up on a planet that has given up all technology in favor of farming and being boring assholes.

RATING: 53%

"Shadowplay" - Odo and Dax find some lame colony in which the people like farming, number less than 100, which doesn't differentiate it from any other post-TOS colony. Oh, they're holograms, spoilers.

RATING: 47%

Monday, October 6, 2008

Catspaw

Yes that picture really happens. This episode starts out great, with talking space corpses, space ghosts, space witches, and even a space castle, but then it becomes ridiculous and boring. I like this one part where this space witch/alien holds a toy of the Enterprise over a candle which makes the real Enterprise start to overheat. Anyway, it turns out none of the ghosts were real so this ends up being one of the most reviled TOS episodes of all time.

RATING: 46%

Saturday, October 4, 2008

The Squire Of Gothos

The original Star Trek is at its best when the episodes are totally bizarre. I mean, sometimes it has legitimately good episodes, but whatevs. This episode centers on some crazy powerful guy named Trelane who kidnaps the Enterprise crew and wants to play host to them because he's been observing Earth, except whoops- he's been observing earth from 600 light years away so he thinks they're still in Napoleonic times. He turns out to be some space baby and whines alot, and the best part is when he sees Sulu and bows to him, calling him "honorable sir," and Sulu just turns to McCoy all angry like and says "Is he kidding?" Anyway, it's fun and weird and Picard doesn't cry like a girl anywhere in the episode that I recall since he isn't in it.

RATING: 77%

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - Season 2 Disc 3

"Second Sight" - Sisko falls in love with some woman's imaginary friend. Terrible.

RATING: 22%

"Sanctuary" - A bunch of ugly faced aliens come through the wormhole and ask if they can live on Bajor. Turns out they don't want the refugees, and they make the Bajorans feel real guilty which is the only good part.

RATING: 56%

"Rivals" - A con man gets some space device that can either increase or decrease your luck, and the station's luck goes all screwy. Pretty funny, and is devoid of sense in the way the best TOS episodes are.

RATING: 78%

"The Alternate" - There is some shapeshifting monster loose on the station. Spoilers - it's Odo, the only shapeshifter on the station.

RATING: 59%

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - Season 2 Disc 2

I'm not going to delude myself into thinking any of you know or care that much about Deep Space Nine, but let me just assure you that it's way better than Next Generation. Anyway, it's a Star Trek show about a space station in a politically unstable area of space made even unstabler by a new wormhole to an unexplored part of the galaxy. Season 1 was ok, but season 2 is largely boring. The show gets way better in season 3. Let me break this disc down:

"Cardassians" - Kind of interesting character piece (not any DS9 character) about a Cardassian (bad guy) child raised by Bajorans to hate Cardassians, so if you like kids you might like this one.

RATING: 61%

"Melora" - Awful, hamhanded story about a disabled person in the future (hint, she's an alien, way to be progressive).

RATING: 36%

"Rules Of Acquisition" - Quark, a Ferengi (a race who is singularly obsessed with profit, as though any one species could be singularly obsessed with anything, oh wait, Star Trek does that all the time post TOS) is involved in some trade stuff with some face paint dudes but also there's a Ferengi woman which is totally crazy because the Ferengi think their women are meant to serve and that's it, oh, and they fall in love or something I guess.

RATING: 41%

"Necessary Evil" - A great episode that weaves together past and present as Odo tries to solve a years old murder.

RATING: 85%

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

All Good Things...

This is the series finale of Star Trek: The Next Generation, so don't worry about me reviewing any more episodes of this show. This is one of the best finales ever made, and one of the best TNG episodes. The plot is tough to explain, but basically Picard is shifting through time thanks to Q and must save mankind from being wiped from existence. Anyway, it's a typical Star Trek plot, but what is great is the way that the whole thing ties back to the first episode of TNG, Encounter At Farpoint, when Q told Picard humanity was on trial, and also every character gets their own great moment. Maybe that's why the TNG movies sucked - they were basically the Picard and Data show, and we had already had excellent closure with this episode.

RATING: 93%

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Preemptive Strike

I always liked Ro Laren because a) she was hot, and b) she wasn't a goody two shoes like everybody else on the goddamned Enterprise. Anyway, she's a tertiary character at best, and she was always in trouble. In this episode she is asked to infiltrate the Maquis, a terrorist organization against the Cardassians made up largely of Bajorans like Ro herself. Of course, she decides to join up with them at the end and it looks like Picard is going to cry because everybody on TNG is a big fat baby. This episode is pretty good though.

RATING: 70%

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Emergence

I liked this episode. In my old blog, I reviewed some TOS seasons, and explained that I liked that there could be a gangster world or a cowboy world or a Nazi world. In this episode, there is a gangster and a cowboy, and it's kind of a fun weird episode. Basically, the Enterprise computer starts being a lifeform, and wants to create offspring, but it's consciousness is located in the holodeck in the form of a train carrying a bunch of weirdos. It's stupid fun, but still fun.

RATING: 64%

Monday, April 14, 2008

Bloodlines

Don't worry; I only have three more episodes of TNG to review and then I'm done. I started watching these on Netflix on and off two years ago, and finally I have gotten to the end. Don't get me wrong - it's been fun, but the 7th season really sucks and I'll be glad to get to the fantastic series finale. Man, this show had one of the best. Oh, right - this episode has Picard finding out he has a son but just kidding he doesn't and it is tres boring.

RATING: 31%

Firstborn

My friend Nick really likes the seventh season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, but I'm just going to have to go on record here saying that it's even worse than the first season. This episode deals with Worf's son Alexander, and how he doesn't want to become a Klingon warrior (he was raised by his progressive Klingon mother for three years). Anyway, I have to give spoilers here, but Alexander from the future comes and tries to convince him to do it, but it never explains how he got there, or where he went at the end. Also, In this season they spent a lot more episodes just on the ship, so they didn't have to make planet sets. Here, there is one set, but it is really simple and then they reuse it all episode long so lame.

RATING: 25%

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Journey's End

This is the last appearance of Wesley Crusher (thus far - I'm still hoping there will be a Titan tv show in which he appears). A lot of people hate Wesley, but I was fine with him after he stopped saving the ship every episode like in season one. Anyway, he's been off the ship for a while at the academy, but in this episode he returns and is a big douchebag. It turns out he's sick of school, but who cares, because the Enterprise has been ordered to forcibly displace a bunch of American Indians (get it? like happened before?). Don't worry, though, these American Indians are such a group of terrible stereotypes that you don't feel too bad for them, and everything works out in the end, including Wesley becoming a god.

RATING: 33%

Genesis

In this episode Dr. Crusher makes an antivirus for borderline schizophrenic Barclay that accidently de-evolves the whole crew. It's a pretty stupid premise, to be honest, but it's a pretty good and freakily executed episode. Data and Picard happen to be off ship and return to find the Enterprise drifting and life signs indeterminate. I do want to point out though that Worf turns into a crazy prehistoric Klingon monster that kills several crewmen, and then at the end of the episode Dr. Crusher is telling jokes about accidentally causing this virus. Whoopsie fucky!

RATING: 75%

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Eye Of The Beholder

In this episode, a crewman kills himself who was previously showing no signs of depression, so it's up to Counselor Troi and Lieutenant Worf to figure out what's up, and also to get it on with each other. This episode is kind of creepy, and involves empathic echoes and murder, but then they pull a cardinal storytelling no-no and make most of the episode a dream. I'm pretty sure Troi also dreams several scenes she's not in for some stupid reason, and at the end of the episode I can't even remember if she and Worf actually did it or if she just dreamed it, though they do have a relationship throughout season 7 so who knows.

RATING: 38%