The 'Burbs

Ray Peterson can't seem to enjoy his vacation. He becomes obsessed with the strange lights and sounds coming from his neighbor's house. Nobody on the block seems to know anything about Ray's neighbors, the Klopeks. On the surface, they seem to be a quiet family who keep to themselves. But, buried just below the surface, something truly strange might be going on. Joe Dante's The 'Burbs is an absurdist comedy with a Twilight Zone edge. In his first role as a father, America's Dad Tom Hanks leads a terrific cast that includes Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, Corey Feldman and Henry Gibson. The 'Burbs has a great sense of scale. The whole movie takes place on one street and yet everything is given a grand sense of significance. The movie's dialogue is snappy and all of the main characters are unique and well defined. The 'Burbs is an excellent showcase for Joe Dante's comedy and horror sensibilities.

Rating: 78%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: A couple years before he played Hans Klopek in The 'Burbs, Courtney Gains played Malachai in the original Children of the Corn. 

Black Belly Of The Tarantula

As you can imagine, this movie doesn't really live up to the awesome title, as is the case with so many giallo movies (the best titled of course being Your Vice Is A Locked Room And Only I Have The Key). Oh well! The plot is there is a serial killer and a cop has to stop him. I think the tarantula is a metaphor, but I was reading and there was a nature video about spiders at some point when I looked up. Also, I got really excited when I saw that Ennio Morricone did the music but it sucks too, so don't get your hopes up like me is what I'm saying.

RATING: 31%

Orca

Orca (aka Orca: The Killer Whale) is one of the earliest entries in the Jaws rip-off subgenre of horror films. In the movie, some fishermen try to capture a killer whale for captivity but end up causing it to miscarry and die. The killer whale's mate goes on an epic quest for revenge, causing damage to the local fishing community and killing off members of the doomed fishing crew. The movie is kinda brutal (note the aforementioned miscarriage scene) and mean spirited and there aren't really any sympathetic characters to root for. The use of stock footage for some of the killer whale scenes can also be inconsistent at times, but that's usually par for the course when it comes to movies like this. Orca is kinda like Death Wish except with a fake killer whale instead of Charles Bronson.

Rating: Bo Derek's Leg%

(Image from horrorsnotdead.com)

The Thing

Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley and a bunch of other dudes are at an Antarctic research station when they unwittingly bring a shape-shifting alien into their midst, much gore and paranoia ensues. Holy frigballs, I love this movie. Every time I watch it, I wish I was watching it again for the first time, just so I wouldn't know what gooey surprises were lurking around the next corner. And even though I'm a big Halloween fan, this is quite possibly my all-time favorite John Carpenter film. The special effects work by (an apparently coked up) Rob Bottin are amazing.

Rating: 95%

(Image from impawards.com)

Duck, You Sucker!

If you like western films, boy have I got a movie for you! It's called "Duck, You Sucker!" or "A Fistful of Dynamite" or "Whatever Gibberish Is On That Poster Picture, I Don't Speak Europe Talk." Made in 1971, this was western-master Sergio Leone's follow up to "Once Upon A Time In The West," the second or first best western ever made, depending on my mood. "Duck, You Sucker!" follows a Mexican bandit, played by Rod Steiger, and an Irish revolutionary, played by James Coburn, as they accidentally get caught up in the Mexican Revolution. Leone is great at mixing the personal with the grand in scope, and the landscapes are stunning as in all of his films. I feel there are some serious pacing missteps, but since the special restored edition I watched was cobbled together from countless different edits there's no real way of telling what Leone wanted. Anyway, this film kicks seven ass-units of ass, but don't take my word for it - dadun dun!

RATING: 76%