Tremors 2: Aftershocks

A few years have passed since the graboid incident in Perfection, Nevada. Earl Bassett's fifteen minutes of fame have come and gone and he finds himself back where he started, no better off. Earl's second chance comes in the form of an ambitious cab driver named Grady and an executive from an oil field in Mexico. Graboids have killed several workers and forced the oil field to close. The executive offers Earl and Grady a lot of money to hunt down and kill the graboids. The job proves to be more than two people can handle, so they eventually enlist the services of gun enthusiast and fellow graboid survivor, Burt Gummer. To their horror, the trio soon discover that the graboids have evolved into smaller, bipedal creatures that hunt using infrared. These new creatures, dubbed shriekers, replicate quickly and before long the oil field is overrun. As far as direct to video sequels go, Tremors 2 is actually pretty good. There's some dodgy CGI in places, but they still use plenty of practical special effects in the movie. It's a bit of a retread of the original but it's entertaining enough on its own merits.

Rating: 65%

(Image from Wikipedia)

El Ataud Del Vampiro

If you're gonna steal a coffin (don't) then for God's sake don't steal the damn vampire's coffin.

RATING: 23%

The Aztecs

Following its departure from the glassy beaches of Marinus, the TARDIS materializes inside a tomb in an Aztec temple. Barbara is mistaken for the reincarnation of a high priest and attempts to use her new position of power to put an end to the Aztec tradition of human sacrifice. This puts her at odds with the Doctor who is adamant that he and his companions should not attempt to alter the course of history. Barbara’s actions put everyone’s lives at risk as they attempt to discover the secrets of the tomb and return to the TARDIS. Though the logistics and repercussions of the Doctor’s time traveling antics would change throughout the show’s run, The Aztecs marks the show’s first attempt to address these issues. Also, while I get the impression that the early Doctors tend to be somewhat chaste, there is a great plot thread wherein the Doctor makes some cocoa for a woman and ends up engaged to her.

Rating: But you can’t rewrite history! Not one line! Believe me, I know!%

(Image from chrisbaer.net)

From Dusk Til Dawn

This is the first R-Rated movie I saw in the theater. At the time I was like "Awesome, people getting shot in the head, titties, and vampires!" Now I am like "Uggggghhhhhhhh *dies*." It embodies all of the worst elements of 90s action movies, from terrible rock soundtracks to dialogue that sounds ripped off from Pulp Fiction (duh) to bad CGI to Juliette Lewis, but I guess I need to give it a little bit of credit for being a crime movie that all of a sudden turns into a vampire movie (spoilers).

RATING: 33%

Cinco De Mayo

Cinco De Mayo is __________ _____ _ __________ Mexico _____ ____ __ __ ________ battle ____ __ France _____ then ___ _____. ___ __ _ ______ Americans ___ _ ____ __ ___ always ___ _ _____ __ ___ ____ supremacy___ __ __ ______ __ identity ___ _ _____ __. ___ __ ________ _ ___? __ _____ __ _____ _____ ___ _____ _ __ __ _______ ____. ___ ___ ____ __ ___ ____ ______ __ __ ______ _______ __ ___ __________ _ ____ ________. ___ _ __ ____ _________ ___ ___________ ___ __ ____ ____.

RATING __%

Bribery

I guess bribery is OK if it's going to get you out of spending spring break in a Mexican jail for having a little weed hidden in your shoe. But if you're a student in the science fiction class I'm TAing in, you probably shouldn't slip me $40 at the end of class like you're doing a drug deal and then run out of the room before I have a chance to react, because then I'll have to spend all week thinking about how awkward it's going to be when I give the money back next class. The smarter course of action would've been to meet me during my office hours, become my friend, and take me out to a strip club some Friday night. (Did I say that out loud?)

RATING: 0.4% of what I make in a month.

(Image from s3.hubimg.com.)

Calacas

A Month Of Halloweenie Reviews #5

Calacas are little skeleton figurines dressed to party that are associated with El Dia De Los Muertos. The Day Of The Dead is like Mexican Halloween, except it lasts two days and culminates in a picnic on the graves of loved ones. Skeletons are my second favorite generic monster, so of course I think these figures are hella sweet. In Mexican culture, the dead are (supposed to be) celebrated, not grieved, so these figurines are usually doing fun stuff like smoking, drinking, carrying a baby, or cooking a fucking pig's head. Also, I guess if the skeleton on the left is a woman then she is totally flashing her skeletitties.

RATING: 72%