Haddo's Delight

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Rockets (Canadian Candy)

American Smarties are sold as Rockets in Canada to avoid confusion with Canadian Smarties, which are almost like American M&M's, which are exactly like Canadian W&W's. Rockets are easily crushed up into a fine powder which can cause severe burns to the nasal lining, eyes and pancreas. We pretty much only eat them at Hallowe'en, which Canadians call "Groundhog Day." If you have Canadian friends, you might visit them on October 31st for the traditional carving of the chuck-o'-lantern, but be sure to bring some plastic garbage bags!

RATING: MacEachern-Shheen co-variation = 30%.

(Image from www.danscandystand.com.)

Smarties (European and Commonwealth Candy)

Smarties (called Lentilky in Czech) have been manufactured by Nestlé since the late 19th century. They're beloved by fat kids around the world, but are inexplicably unavailable in the United States. Forrest Mars actually got the idea for M&M's from some soldiers he saw eating Smarties during the Spanish civil war, and the 2 candies are similar except Smarties are sweeter, flatter, and will readily melt in your sweaty palm. I prefer Smarties to M&M's for political reasons (curse the running dogs of Yanqui imperialism) but they'll both give you diabetes and make your children morbidly obese.

RATING: 40%

(Image from www.jodiferous.com.)