Post-colonialism makes ESL humour problematic, and if Foucault was right about knowledge and power then most teachers are stooges anyway, but goddamn, non-native speakers of English say some funny things. For example...CZECH GIRL IN CLUB: I know you like me.
MY FRIEND ROBIN: How can you tell?
GIRL: I can feel your pee against my leg.
or...
MAREK (Czech): "If I can't drive, I'll have to hedgehog" (hitchike).
SALAMA (Libyan): "The Muslims [sic] fanatics are dangerous, but Christmas fanatics can be just as bad."
SAD (Libyan, or maybe Sudanese): "Every morning I get up and then I get up my wife."
My all time favorite, however, isn't an anecdotal knee slapper, but an unassuming workhorse that always gets in under the radar, and has probably shown up in 60-80 different stories, papers, and journal entries that I've corrected over the years:
"Nice to meat you!"
Never fails to make me chuckle.
RATING: Anglo-saxon mongrel horde overruns the world%
(Image from eslfunland.com.)
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