New Yorkers

New Yorkers are just like you or me, except there are ten million of them and only one you or me. Well, there actually might be like 15 or so of you (hope hope), but you get the picture. Anyway, most New Yorkers are always scowling and sitting grumpily on the subway or yelling at total strangers or bumping into people, but you can't blame them. They're probably on their way home from their second job that they need to work in order to afford their $2000/mo studio apartment. This is also probably why a lot of New Yorkers feel the need to act superior to people from not New York, because if they have to work that hard to just scrape by, it must be the greatest city on the face of the earth, right? Also at this bar we went to in Queens every guy reminded me of Andrew Dice Clay. In conclusion my girlfriend is the best ever.

RATING: 56%

Massachusetts Drivers

I don't know for a FACT that Massachusetts drivers are the worst drivers in the world, but they've gotta be in the top five. I know what you're thinking...you're thinking "I live in Manhattan/St. Petersburg/Rome/Venezuela, and I think OUR drivers are the worst!" Two quick things: (#1) You are incredibly wrong and (#2) Most other places have an excuse.

In the greater Boston area, judging from my personal experience, no one knows where they are going, at any time, ever. Add this to an already eclectic cocktail of drunks, old people that can't see over the steering wheel, people who have mastered the "Rhode Island Shuffle", 18-year-old douchebags, and cab drivers hopped up on amphetamines, and you've got the absolute worst driving experience ever.

I'm sure you're asking yourself why I gave Mass Drivers anything over a 0%...well, all I can say is that sometimes its nice to live in a place where I am considered a good driver.

RATING: 5% (This means that it is worse than just about everything, and better than virtually nothing.)

(image courtesy of nicaliving.com)