The House Of The Devil

Everybody was talking a whole bunch about how this movie from 2009 is great, it's totally like a great 80s horror movie, man. Well, let's be real about 80s horror movies for a second - most of them are basically the worst. They're not as bad overall as 90s horror movies, but you gotta sift through a whole lotta Deadly Friends to find the gems. Anyway - The House Of The Devil is as good as one of the better mediocre 80s horror movies, and it has a real orchestra soundtrack and no Avid farts so I think it gets some major pointage there. The plot is a college student goes to a house to babysit but be careful because I bet I know whose house that is!

RATING: 60%

Bioshock

I know I'm late in heaping praise on this game, but Bioshock is an amazing game, everybody was right. I'm not really that much into first person shooters anymore, but the way this game seamlessly weaves a great story into the gameplay (that is, no cinematic sequences) makes it stand out from mindless army shooters like Halo. Without giving too much away about the plot (part of the allure of this game is getting the mystery to unravel as you collect diaries, read phrases written on the wall in blood etc), you play as a survivor of a plane crash who finds, in the middle of the ocean, an artificial island that is the entry point for a vast underwater city. The city, Rapture, is deserted except for many crazed deformed people who want to kill you and a man named Atlas who wants you to help him rescue his family from Andrew Ryan, the megalomaniac who created the city. Along the way you can also pick up "plasmids," which are basically mutant powers. The game is often terrifying but always engrossing, and I recommend you pick this one up.

RATING: 83%

Wanted

I didn't go into this movie with very high hopes, and for the first thirty minutes or so, the movie's charming stupidity and insane over-the-topness really won me over. But then it started becoming really boring and predictable. Anyway, the plot of the movie is this really white dude who lives in the movie Fight Club (the surreal office part of it, not the fighting part) suddenly finds out that his father was a top killer in this secret league of assassins. So his father is killed or something and they get him to join because he has some crazy ability that is genetic and that allows him to slow down time for himself. Hilarity ensues and a lot of killing, but maybe I'd wait for cable on this one chief.

RATING: 59%