Enterprise S1E3 - "Strange New World"

Here Archer and the gang land on one a them planet dealies with the hallucinatory flowers like in twenty episodes of the Original Series, which causes the southern dude to flip his shit and turn all racist. Yeah, sure it was the space pollen talking, guy. Time for a trip to human resources if you ask me!

RATING: 61%

A Month of Ill-Fated Consumer Products #5: Quaaludes

Quaaludes were the sixth biggest selling sedative in the United States in 1972, but they became illegal when people realized that college kids were using them to fuel lots and lots of dull, sleepy, unprotected sex. Also, they probably helped kill Elvis. Quaaludes, I mean.

RATING: South Africa%





(Image from www.erowid.org.)

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Dawson's Creek with fairies and ecstasy. I'm working on a postmodern version that ends when a jealous Oberon puts a bullet in Donkey Kong's frontal lobe and no one ever has to hear another word about the fucking play-within-a-play. You're welcome.

RATING: A grudging 70%

(Image from www.proprofs.com.)

Nicotine Fit

It's like a flashing, 40' neon sign in your head saying "SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE, KILL KILL KILL!" Everything everyone says is either bullshit or personally insulting. All business at hand that doesn't involve smoking a cigarette is either stupid or way too hard. You know that scene in Un chien andalou where the guy's hand gets cut open and all the ants come pouring out? I didn't get it until just now.

RATING: 4%

(Image from static.guim.co.uk.)