It Follows

A unique horror movie about an STD (sexually transmitted demon) who stalks you at the speed of walk after you catch him and then eventually tries to kill you. It looks great and sounds great, but to me it just wasn't... scary? Points for being a Michigan movie though.

RATING: 77%

Star Trek: The Next Generation - "Man of the People"

A jerky ambassador makes Troi angry, horny, and old by siphoning all his negative thoughts into her.

RATING: 49%

Enterprise S1E18 - "Acquisition"

This episode is universally reviled for its supposed breach of Trek continuity, but I don't give a shit about that - do whatever you have to do to tell a great story! This is not a great story. The Ferengi take over Enterprise to steal its... treasure? One thing I appreciate about Enterprise as a show, though, is it revels in making a man (always Trip Tucker) the object of viewers' sexual desire, so Tucker takes control back of the ship in his BVDs.

RATING: 32%

(image by DeviantArt user angeleyes91011)

Enterprise S1E8 - "Civilization"

Some space pirates are mining poison out of a Medieval style alien town, so Captain Archer pulls a Kirk and makes out with a space lady to save the day.

RATING: 36%

Cat People

This past Saturday the Kalamazoo Alamo Draft House had a four horror movie marathon, which sounds great on paper but by hour eight sounded less great. Anyway, the gem of the night was Paul Schrader's Cat People, a movie I would never have guessed was a horror movie by the cover. It's about a couple of were-cats who turn into panthers after having sex with non-were-cats and can't turn back into people until they kill somebody. You know, typical were-cat fare. It's really well directed, and great performances from all the cast and you also (SPOILER) get to see Ed Begley Jr.'s arm ripped off. The other movies were Night of the Creeps, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, and Humanoids from the Deep in case you were wondering.

RATING: 78%

Losing your phone

Losing your phone sucks big time. Losing your phone while on a first date sucks more because it is embarrassing and makes you look like an irresponsible ass (but the shittiness is mitigated if your date is sweet about it and googles the number to your cell phone provider and gives you his phone to call them and suspend your service). Losing your phone sucks even more when you remember that it has all of your emails and facebook info and dirty dirty text msgs on it. The only good thing about this was getting my new awesome phone (which also kind of sucked because it cost a bunch of $$$). In conclusion, be sure to password protect your Blackberry even tho it's annoying to put in the password all the time and try not to lose your phone on a first date (or ever).

Rating: 2%