The Transformers: The Movie

By 1986, Hasbro had already sold a lot of Transformers toys and they thought the best way to get kids to buy a bunch of new Transformers toys would be to kill off all of the characters that the kids had come to know and love. And so they made The Transformers: The Movie, which opens with an extended battle between the Autobots and the Decepticons in which many prominent characters are killed, including Optimus Prime. Yes, that's right. Not only did Hasbro think it was a great idea to kill off Optimus Prime, the flagship character of the Transformers brand, they thought that was something that kids needed to see on the big screen. And then, at some point later in the film, somebody says "shit." Because, you know, it was meant to be a movie that the whole family could enjoy.

Rating: 69%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Halloween II

Halloween II isn't as good as the original Halloween, but how could it be? The music isn't as good as the original. The mask isn't as good as the original. Laurie gets sidelined for the bulk of the movie while she recovers from the injuries she sustained during the original. And it sprinkles in some unnecessary back story which will eventually be purged from the mythology of the series. It just doesn't cut the mustard. It cuts a few throats, sure, but not the mustard. And yet, it's not all bad. I've seen The Curse of Michael Myers and Halloween: Resurrection. It's definitely better than those two movies.

Rating: 70%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Evil Dead II

I don't know if Evil Dead II was supposed to be a remake or a quasi-sequel to the original Evil Dead, but what I do know is that Evil Dead II is hella awesome. As Glenn has already said here on R3, the plot for both this movie and the original are pretty much identical: some college kids go out to a remote cabin in the woods and are terrorized by demonic forces. But it's the tone of the sequel that really sets it apart from the original, Evil Dead II is scary and gross like the original but it's also kinda funny. Sam Raimi packs the film with visual gags and Three Stooges style slapstick, but never turns it into a straight-up horror comedy. If they ever go ahead with Evil Dead remake/reboot that they've been talking about over the last few years, they'll have a hard time topping what they already did with Evil Dead II.

Rating: Happy Hellaween%

(Image from moviegoods.com)

Orca

Orca (aka Orca: The Killer Whale) is one of the earliest entries in the Jaws rip-off subgenre of horror films. In the movie, some fishermen try to capture a killer whale for captivity but end up causing it to miscarry and die. The killer whale's mate goes on an epic quest for revenge, causing damage to the local fishing community and killing off members of the doomed fishing crew. The movie is kinda brutal (note the aforementioned miscarriage scene) and mean spirited and there aren't really any sympathetic characters to root for. The use of stock footage for some of the killer whale scenes can also be inconsistent at times, but that's usually par for the course when it comes to movies like this. Orca is kinda like Death Wish except with a fake killer whale instead of Charles Bronson.

Rating: Bo Derek's Leg%

(Image from horrorsnotdead.com)