Enterprise S2E6 - "Marauders"

A small mining colony is being bullied by some Klingon pirates so the Enterprise teaches them to fight back Swiss Family Robinson style.

RATING: 48%

Mediocre Movie Double Feature

Blood and Bone

I'm not sure if this makes sense, but Blood and Bone is essentially Yojimbo meets The Littlest Hobo. This guy Bone gets out of prison and rises the ranks of the illegal street fighting game so he can right some wrongs and get revenge on behalf of his dead prison buddy. The fight scenes are actually decent and not comprised from hundreds of one second shots. And Bone's sidekick, Pinball, is played by the guy who was Rufio in Hook.

Rating: 62%


Fighting

Southern tough guy with a heart of gold moves to the big, bad city. He gets caught up in the illegal street fighting game. His "manager" wants him to throw the big fight, will he or won't he? (He doesn't.) This movie tries to be very serious and dramatic, but it is very, very dumb. A lot of time is wasted on pointless back story and secret character connections. Also, I could never tell if Terrence Howard's character was supposed to be gay or retarded.

Rating: 45%

(Images from traileraddict.com and blogs.bet.com)

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

I went to this movie looking for one thing and one thing only--to see lots of werewolves fighting vampires. I didn't (and still don't) care about the complicated back story, or the love story, or any of the "lore," and I didn't need this movie to change my life. All I wanted was to see some werewolves tearing apart some vampires and vice versa. And with that expectation in mind, I was not disappointed. With the exception of one particularly laughable angel sex* scene and spurts of talking that were really just there to move the plot onto the next fight, it was mostly fighting, and that suits me just fine.

Rating: 86% (Within the context of my expectations, mostly awarded for violence.)

*Angel sex is the term I use for those campy other worldly sex scenes that you find in movies. The best example comes from the movie Wall Street, where we see Charlie Sheen and Daryl Hannah acrobatically get it on silhouetted in front of a giant picture window overlooking the Manhattan skyline while Native American flute music plays in the background.