Hannibal

I don't exactly consider The Silence of the Lambs to be a horror movie, but I thought I remembered this movie being a weirder goth fest. Well, the last thirty minutes or so are terrific, with some man eating pigs and man eating mans, but the rest of the movie is excruciating. Is it worse than, like, Scarecrow Night or whatever? Not technically, but with all the talent behind this one it shoulda been at least moderately watchable.

RATING: 27%

American Gangster

American Gangster by Ridley Scott is a toneless, directionless 3 hour mess. It follows a gangster from America named Frank Lucas who becomes rich by controlling heroin in NYC, and also this one cop named Russel Crowe who is trying to stop him. I mean, all of the actors are fine, but I never cared about anybody, and the movie didn't even know if it wanted to be a shitty Serpico, a shitty Godfather, a shitty Clockers, or a shitty Heat. Also at the end SPOILERS it becomes like a shitty Odd Couple when Frank Lucas and Detective Russel Crowe become best friends and share insightful looks about how much rap music sucks or something 15 years later.

RATING: 41%

Alien

#52 on Glenn's Top 100 Movie List

I really miss the quiet horror film. The seventies were a great decade for horror films that didn't have to be loud, or in your face the entire time. I've tried to show the original Alien to a bunch of people, and often they just fall asleep. A lot of Jerry Goldsmith's score is just soft, haunting tones, and there isn't a whole lot of action until the chest burster. Anyway, the point is, horror directors of the 21st century, please start decreasing the amount of edits in your movie. Also, make them longer and have less action. Also, maybe more boobs. (This movie has zero boobs. But there can be a quiet horror film with boobs I bet.)

RATING: 92%

Blade Runner

#79 on Glenn's Top 100 Movie List

I can't believe how well all of the special effects from this movie still hold up. By the way, I am considering the crazy synthesizer score by Vangelis to be a special effect. Ridley Scott is another director who has made a lot of great hits. But I sort of think he fell off his game with Legend. That movie is so goddamned boring. After that he never really got back on the horse. Uhh, the horse game I mean. But Blade Runner is pretty much flawless.

RATING: 88%