The Great Land of Small

aka C'est pas parce qu'on est petit qu'on peut pas être grand!

Fritz, a mystical being from the Great Land of Small, travels to the human realm with a bag of magic gold dust to test the intentions of men. Are they capable of goodness or will they use the gold dust to amass power? After losing his bag of gold dust to a cold-hearted hunter, Fritz teams up with Jenny and David, two young children who want nothing more than to help Fritz get his gold dust back and return home to the Great Land of Small. Something like a mashup of E.T. and The Neverending Story, but with a fraction of their budgets, The Great Land of Small is another Canadian kids movie from the same people who brought you The Dog Who Stopped the War and The Peanut Butter Solution. While not as iconic or traumatic as those other films, The Great Land of Small is a distinctly odd movie that mixes family friendly whimsy with questionable decision making. If for no other reason, I would definitely recommend watching this movie so that you too can witness the glory that is Slime-O.

Rating: 59%

(Image from IMDB)

Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning

The third film in the Ginger Snaps series, Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning, is essentially both a prequel and a remake. The story is very similar to the original film, but the setting has been changed from suburbia to the unforgiving wilderness of Canada in the 19th Century. Emily Perkins and Katharine Isabelle are still playing Brigitte and Ginger Fitzgerald, only now they're old-timey versions of those same characters. The dialogue in the movie is fairly contemporary, which is welcome and also kind of funny. While the movie is clearly low budget, given the limited number of locations and ample use of fog, the sets and costumes are all well done. While I don't really understand the motivation of making this entry of the series into a prequel, especially given that the second film ended on somewhat of a cliffhanger, Ginger Snaps Back is still a fairly entertaining film.

Rating: 63%

(Image from Wikipedia)

The Dog Who Stopped the War

aka La guerre des tuques

Going into Christmas vacation, a group of kids decide to fill their free time with an all out snowball war. One faction builds an elaborate snow fort while the other side attempts to seize it. The war rages on every day from sunup to sundown. From the people who brought you The Peanut Butter Solution comes The Dog Who Stopped the War, another cherished Canadian children's film. Between the two movies, The Dog Who Stopped the War is probably remembered more fondly, since it's fairly straightforward and slightly less traumatic. While I wouldn't say that any of the children in the movie were particularly good actors, their characters were well defined and their uniforms were pretty funny.

Rating: 65%

(Image from IMDB)

Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy

Dr. Chris Cooper invents a powerful new antidepressant, Gleemonex, which is rushed into production before it can be fully tested. The drug becomes massively popular until Dr. Cooper discovers some disturbing side effects. Like many of the sketches on the Kids in the Hall TV show, Brain Candy can be strange and dark at times. It's a movie about depression and corruption made by a sketch troupe that was in the process of breaking up at the time. Executives at Paramount balked at the inclusion of a character called Cancer Boy and, after the group refused to cut Cancer Boy out of the movie, Brain Candy received a limited theatrical release. It has since gone on to find a cult following.

Rating: 65%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed

When we catch up with Brigitte Fitzgerald in Ginger Snaps 2, things are not going well. Having infected herself with her sister's blood, Brigitte is in a race against time to find a cure for her oncoming lycanthropy. Things only get worse for Brigitte after she overdoses on monkshood and finds herself in a remote rehab facility. And, on top of all that, there's another werewolf stalking her from the shadows. Though not as creative as the original film, Ginger Snaps 2 is a pretty enjoyable sequel. Once again, the practical effects and stylish camerawork do a lot of heavy lifting. But, this time around, they're aided by some great locations, some genuinely funny gags, and some distinctly Canadian elements. I don't know that I necessarily loved the ending of the film, but I didn't regret taking the journey.

Rating: 66%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Recruits

Hoping to impress the governor and secure funding for a new freeway, the mayor of Clam's Cove announces a new civilian-led traffic enforcement division of the police force. Captain Magruder, attempting to embarrass the mayor, selects only the dumbest, drunkest and horniest recruits for this new squad. Recruits is less of a comedy and more of a delivery system for boobs. There isn't a shirt, towel or bikini top in the movie that can't be removed by a pratfall. I'm pretty sure that there's only one woman in the cast who doesn't show her boobs, but even she strips down to her underwear at one point. If Police Academy is too highbrow for you, then you just might be the perfect audience for Recruits.

Rating: 53%

(Recruits on IMDB)

The Peanut Butter Solution

aka Opération beurre de pinottes

While exploring a burned out building, Michael sees something so terrifying that all of his hair falls out. After a few days, his hair shows no signs of returning. In desperation, Michael tries a hair growth formula given to him by a pair of ghosts. (Yes, you read that correctly.) Michael's hair returns but, because he mixed the formula incorrectly, it won't stop growing. He gets kicked out of school for being a distraction and eventually gets kidnapped by a former teacher, who uses Michael's hair to make magic paint brushes. The Peanut Butter Solution might be the most infamous Canadian children's film ever made. It lives on in the minds of Canadian forty-somethings as a half-remembered fever dream. Many people who saw this movie as a child aren't completely sure whether or not the film was real or if they're actually just struggling to unpack a strange repressed memory.

Rating: 63%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Kids vs. Aliens

From the heart of Dartmouth comes Jason Eisener's Kids vs. Aliens. Imagine if the kids from Stranger Things met up with the kids from Super 8 but instead of being into Spielberg and D&D, they were really into Troma and the WWE. It's a coming of age tale about family and creativity that's not afraid to get weird and gross at times.

Rating: 60%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Ginger Snaps

Brigitte and Ginger Fitzgerald are the weird girls at school and that's how they like it. But things only get weirder for them after Ginger gets attacked by a large dog-like creature on the night of her first period. After the attack, Ginger starts to change. Everyone keeps saying that she's becoming a woman but Brigitte is convinced that her is sister is actually turning into a werewolf. Using puberty as an analogue for lycanthropy isn't exactly a new idea but Ginger Snaps does it well by combining it with a number of additional themes. The movie is just as much about family, sexuality, addiction, bullying, peer pressure and the boredom of growing up in a small town. The practical special effects and creative camerawork elevate the movie above its meager budget. Occasionally, the seams will show but overall Ginger Snaps is captivating from beginning to end.

Rating: 73%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Black Christmas (2006)

2006's Black Christmas takes the premise of the original 1974 film, amps up the violence, expands the backstory and fails to create much in the way of suspense. It ends up being a fairly standard post-Scream slasher from the early 2000s. It's clear that the filmmakers had a lot of affection for the original film but, for whatever reason, the end result is somewhat unnecessary. The killer's backstory is gratuitous in a number of ways and might be the worst part of the movie. But, it's not all bad. The performances are all well done, some of the twists work, some of the kills are cool, and it was nice to see Andrea Martin in the film.

Rating: 61%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Prom Night IV: Deliver Us from Evil

In 1957, Father Jonas (motivated either by religious zealotry or demonic possession) kills two horny teens in the parking lot of Hamilton High on Prom Night. The killer priest is apprehended, drugged into a comatose state and locked away by church officials. 34 years later, Father Jonas escapes and makes his way to an old seminary. Meanwhile, two high school girls ditch their prom to go to a remote summer home with their much-older-looking boyfriends. And, since this is a movie, that remote summer home and the old seminary turn out to be the same place. Which puts the two couples directly in the path of the demented Father Jonas. Other than the opening sequence and the fact that the contemporary scenes take place on Prom Night, this movie doesn't really have any connection to the other Prom Night films. It doesn't even really make sense that the contemporary scenes are set on Prom Night, since they're also set in the Winter. Are Winter Proms a thing? I know they shot this movie in Canada, but come on people.

Rating: 50%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Black Christmas

Just before Christmas break, a group of sorority sisters start receiving obscene phone calls. After one of the sisters taunts the caller, he threatens to kill her. The caller then breaks into the sorority house and begins to pick off the residents one by one. Bob Clark's Black Christmas is often considered to be one of earliest slasher films. Whether you agree with that or not is a matter of taste, but the use of POV shots and the creative kills certainly put Black Christmas into the conversation. While it's unclear where the movie is supposed to be taking place, the scenery and the majority of the accents are unmistakably Canadian. Black Christmas can be a little slow at times, but the atmosphere and the bleak ending are very well done. Watching it now, it's clear that Black Christmas inspired quite a few of the slasher films that followed in its wake.

Rating: 72%

Fun Fact: Art Hindle, who played Clare's boyfriend Chris, was also in The Brood.

(Image from Wikipedia)

Terror Train

Three years after an initiation prank went too far, some fraternity brothers decide to throw a New Year's Eve party on a train. Because, according to movies, this was something that people did. What they don't know is that they're not alone. Of course, they were never actually going to be alone alone on the train. It's not like these kids were going to conductor school, they're pre-med students. What I mean to say is that someone has crashed their party. Someone who just might have something to do with the prank that I mentioned earlier. Released the same year as Friday the 13th and Prom Night, Terror Train is part of the first wave of post-Halloween slashers. Setting the action on a moving train gives the film a claustrophobic tone. And even though the movie isn't shot or scripted well enough to be a proper whodunnit, Terror Train is still a must-see for fans of classic slashers.

Rating: 67%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Prom Night III: The Last Kiss

Prom Night III is essentially a toothless, gender-swapped parody of Prom Night II. In Prom Night III: The Last Kiss, the ghost of Mary Lou Maloney haunts a high school student named Alex. Setting off a string of spooky murders, which put a real damper on Alex's relationship with his milquetoast girlfriend. Whereas, in Prom Night II, the ghost of Mary Lou Maloney haunted a high school student named Vicki. Which set off a string of spooky murders that put a real damper on Vicki's relationship with her milquetoast boyfriend. Of the two, Prom Night II is easily the better film. That's not to suggest that it is in any way a good movie, but at least it has the decency to be batshit-insane. Prom Night III is more like a direct to video American Pie sequel. It's cheap, winking, horndog goofery.

Rating: 49%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Shivers

aka They Came from Within

Only minutes away from downtown Montreal, the Starliner Towers apartment complex has everything you could possibly need. Cable television in every room, an Olympic size swimming pool, onsite health care professionals, and parasites that send you into a sex crazed fury. Cronenberg's first commercial feature film, if you can call it that, proved to be both successful and controversial. Many critics balked at the film's combination of sex and violence. Some Canadian critics were especially upset that the film had received some of its funding from the federal government. The movie shares some similarities with Cronenberg's following film, Rabid, along with movies like Invasion of the Body Snatchers and The Crazies. Personally, the thing that surprised me most about the film was a car crash stunt that seemed just a little too realistic.

Rating: 65%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Prom Night II

aka Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II

Prom Night II was never supposed to be Prom Night II. The movie was originally called The Haunting of Hamilton High. It was only after some extensive reshoots that it became part of the Prom Night franchise. But despite the reshoots and new title, the final product has almost nothing to do with the original Prom Night. And I couldn't be happier about it. Not since Howling II have I seen a movie so utterly and hilariously bizarre. I'll give it this, it's never boring. Any time you think things are about to get predictable, the movie takes a very strange turn. A lot of really strong, strange choices were made during the various stages of production on this movie and I applaud those choices. Bravo, you maniacs. Bravo.

Rating: 52%

(Image from IMDB)

Curtains

In Curtains, John Vernon plays a (what's a kind word for abusive?) difficult director in search of an actress for an upcoming film. After stranding his first choice in an insane asylum, he invites several potential candidates to his secluded mansion. Surely nothing could go wrong under those circumstances. It took almost three years to complete Curtains, following several rounds of rewrites and reshoots. The final product is a little disjointed. There are, however, a couple of decent kills in the film, most notably in the ice skating sequence.

Rating: 59%

(Image from Amazon)

WolfCop

I don't know if there are any other movies out there about an alcoholic cop who becomes an alcoholic werewolf cop but I do know that there probably aren't any other movies where the violent transition from alcoholic cop to alcoholic werewolf cop starts at the dick. And that's because WolfCop was clearly a passion project. It was made by people in Saskatchewan who knew that the story of an alcoholic werewolf cop was clearly a story that had to be told. And it had to be made with a lot of practical special effects. And it had to have nudity in it. And explosions. And there had to be a scene where the wolfcop rips a guy's face off and then throws it onto the windshield of a cop car. And knowing full well that it would be funny to see that ripped-off face get caught up in the windshield wipers, there still had to be a shot of the guy, now without a face, screaming. And the gore had to look good. And you know what? They were right. They were right about everything. So, if you have to see a movie about an alcoholic cop who becomes an alcoholic werewolf cop, see WolfCop because it will be the best movie about an alcoholic cop who becomes an alcoholic werewolf cop you will see all year. And that is my solemn guarantee.

Rating: All the ripped-off faces%

(Image from thedudedesigns.com)

Prom Night

Prom Night, released in 1980, feels like a leftover from the 1970s. It's probably the only slasher movie to feature both a custom van and an extended disco dance sequence. If it weren't for the cast, top billed Leslie Nielsen and scream queen Jamie Lee Curtis, this movie would probably be easily forgotten. That's not to say it's not worth a watch though. It might lean a little heavy on red herrings and horror movie tropes, but it's not without its charms. The recent blu ray release from Synapse Films is easily the best looking home video version of the movie. Avoid the bargain bin releases of Prom Night as they are most often non-anamorphic and feature a blurry transfer of the film.

Rating: 68%

Fun Fact: Jamie Lee Curtis, who played Kim, did uncredited voice work in Escape from New York and Halloween III: Season of the Witch.

(Image from ca.movieposter.com)

The Brood

Despite having seen and enjoyed David Cronenberg's The Brood, I'm having a hard time coming up with a competent synopsis for the film. It revolves, somewhat, around an unconventional psychotherapy practice called psychoplasmics, wherein a patient's negative emotions and traumatic memories can be channeled into physiological changes to their body. One patient somehow uses psychoplasmics to give birth to little demon faced children in snowsuits who beat people to death. While that's the plot of the film, more or less, it doesn't really tell the whole story. There's also a custody battle arc, some detective procedural elements, the classic Cronenberg body horror component, and killer children who are occasionally killed. And while I'm not sure I've made much of a case for this movie, it remains a worthy entry in Cronenberg's filmography and a uniquely original horror film.

Rating: A Bad Day At School%

(Image at impawards.com)