The Great Santa Claus Switch

On Christmas Eve, Santa Claus is kidnapped by the evil wizard Cosmo Scam and his cave-dwelling minions, the Frackles. No, not the Fraggles, the Frackles. They're a completely different group of cave-dwelling weirdos. Let's not get bogged down in the details. The important thing here is that Cosmo intends to use his evil magic to impersonate Santa and then rob all of the houses on Santa's route. Santa's only hope? A keen elf named Fred. The Great Santa Claus Switch aired as an episode of The Ed Sullivan Show in 1970 and is hosted by the man himself. There aren't too many marquee Muppets in the special, as it was filmed several years before The Muppet Show, but an early version of Gonzo does appear.

Rating: A Toy Truck%

The Stingiest Man in Town

The Stingiest Man in Town is the Rankin/Bass version of A Christmas Carol. It's a fairly straightforward adaptation except for, much like in the case of Cricket on the Hearth, the inclusion of an insect narrator. A humbug, in fact. One B. A. H. Humbug, Esq., to be precise, voiced by Tom Bosley. Scrooge is played by Walter Matthau, who gives a fine performance. And the special is jam packed with music. Every few minutes there's another big 70s variety show style song. It's almost comical how many songs are in this special. There are a few flourishes here and there that set The Stingiest Man in Town apart from other adaptations of A Christmas Carol, but it's pretty plain overall.

Rating: A Tie%

(Image from IMDB)

Jennifer's Home for Christmas

Everyone at the station seems to have big plans for Christmas, except for Jennifer. So, after she gets upset when the Christmas party is cut short, they all decide to go down to her apartment to cheer her up. Warm, festive comedy ensues. I watched a lot of WKRP in Cincinnati reruns when I was a kid. I think it holds up pretty well to this day, if you can get past the theatrical style of older sitcoms. The cast is great and they play off of each other very well. It's a classic workplace sitcom filled with wacky characters. What's not to like?

Rating: Another TV%

Fun Fact: George Gaynes, who played Commandant Lassard in all of the Police Academy movies, appears in the episode as one of the many people dropping gifts off at Jennifer's apartment.

Someone's Watching Me!

Shortly after moving into a new apartment in an LA high-rise, Leigh Michaels starts getting weird phone calls and strange packages. Unbeknownst to Leigh, her stalker has placed surveillance equipment in the apartment and is also watching her through a high powered telescope. Leigh's sanity starts to unravel as the harassment ramps up and the police claim that they are powerless to help her. Eventually, it becomes clear that her stalker will only stop when one of them is dead. Someone's Watching Me! was written and directed by John Carpenter and aired on NBC in November of 1978. Shot shortly before Halloween, Someone's Watching Me! features a number of stylistic touches that would become synonymous with Carpenter's work. Steadicam is used in a couple of scenes and the cast includes Charles Cyphers and Adrienne Barbeau. The music, done by Harry Sukman, lends to the Hitchcockian feel of the movie. Though widely available now on home video, Someone's Watching Me! was long considered to be John Carpenter's lost film.

Rating: 64%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: Harry Sukman also did the music for Salem's Lot.

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Oftentimes in Rankin/Bass specials, Santa Claus is depicted as being somewhat temperamental. In 1974's 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, a skeptical letter to the editor pisses Santa off to the point where he turns his back on the entire town of Junctionville. All of the town's letters to Santa get returned unopened and the townsfolk start freaking out. To get back into Santa's good graces, local clock maker Joshua Trundle convinces the town to build a giant singing clock that will play a special song for Santa at the stroke of midnight on Christmas Eve. By Rankin/Bass standards, that's a fairly straightforward narrative. Did I mention that the clock maker has a mouse apprentice? And it was the mouse's son who wrote the letter that pissed Santa off?

Rating: A Clock%

(Image from IMDB)

John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together

The Muppets did two tv specials with John Denver: 1983's Rocky Mountain Holiday and 1979's John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together. A Christmas Together has never been released on home video. It's fallen into that murky grey market of television curiosities from the 1970s. I like to think that dorky Muppet fans (much like myself) are drawn to the special much like Star Wars diehards are drawn to the Star Wars Holiday Special. Having seen both, I feel like I can definitively say that John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together is better than the Star Wars Holiday Special. A Christmas Together isn't anything amazing but it has its moments. My only real complaint is that it's more of a John Denver special than a Muppets special. The Muppets are featured extensively, but it really feels like it's a John Denver special first and foremost.

Rating: Wooden Soldiers%

(Image from Amazon)

Bad Ronald

Ronald Wilby is the weird kid on the block. Living alone with his overprotective mother, he spends a lot of his time fleshing out a fantasy realm of his own making. After being rejected by a crush and taunted by some peers, Ronald bumps into Carol, a young girl from the neighborhood. At first, Ronald brushes off Carol's insults but things turn violent after Carol starts insulting Ronald's mother. He pushes Carol and she ends up hitting her head on a cinder block, dying from the impact. Ronald panics and buries Carol's body in a shallow grave before returning home and confessing to his mother. Ronald's mother concocts a plan to hide Ronald inside their home by sealing off a bathroom and building a secret passageway through the pantry. Their plan works perfectly until Ronald's mother dies and the house is sold to a new family. Ronald's total isolation and growing detachment from reality reach a fever pitch after he becomes obsessed with the youngest daughter of the family who have moved into his home. Released as an "ABC Movie of the Week" in 1974, Bad Ronald has maintained a cult following over the decades. It's a little campy by today's standards but it's still worth checking out.

Rating: 69%

(Image from IMDB)

The Little Drummer Boy, Book II

As far as Rankin/Bass specials go, the original Little Drummer Boy special was both straightforward and coherent. The sequel, not so much. The Little Drummer Boy, Book II picks up where the first special ended. Aaron, the titular drummer boy, joins Melchior on a quest to find Simeon, a bell maker. Simeon has crafted silver bells, meant to be rung to announce the birth of Christ. Before Aaron and Melchior reach Simeon, the bells are stolen by some greedy Roman tax collectors. Will Aaron and his friends be able to get the bells back in time to announce the birth of our Lord and savior? Isn't it weird that the little drummer boy is named Aaron? I mean, I know this is all based off of a song from the 1940s, but don't you think they could have come up with a more convincing name? The kid grew up in the desert for Pete's sake.

Rating: Silver Bells%

(Image from IMDB)

Guess Who's Coming to Christmas

It's Christmas Eve in Milwaukee and Mr. C has laid down the law. There'll be no friends or guests in the Cunningham home for the holidays. It'll just be the family. Trimming the tree, making popcorn and drinking warm apple cider by the fire. But on his way home from the hardware store, Richie beings to suspect that Fonzie is going to be all alone for Christmas. Sure, the Fonz puts up a cool front. He regales anyone who asks about the family celebration waiting for him in Waukesha. But the truth is, he has nowhere to go. And if you think that the Fonz ends up spending the holiday alone, it's possible that you've never seen a TV show before. "Guess Who's Coming to Christmas" aired during the second season of Happy Days, when the show's ratings were in decline and it was in danger of being cancelled. For the following season, the show was restructured and Fonzie became a much more prominent character. The show would go on to run for eleven seasons, spawning several spin-offs.

Rating: A Three in One Wrench%

Fun Fact: "Guess Who's Coming to Christmas" features the final appearance of Chuck Cunningham, Richie's older brother. I've only ever seen a couple of episodes of Happy Days that featured Chuck. He liked playing basketball and he wasn't very smart. I'm really not sure if there was more to him than that.

Killdozer

A meteorite crashes down on an island off the coast of Africa. After an unspecified amount of time, a construction crew happens upon the meteorite while working on the island. When the crew's bulldozer moves the meteorite, it emits a strange blue light, killing one of the workers. Then the bulldozer begins to operate on its own. And it seems to have a taste for blood. One by one, the crew are hunted down and killed by the machine, which is about as ridiculous as it sounds. This made for TV movie doesn't break any new ground. (Get it? It's a construction joke. No? OK, I'll see myself out.) It's basically Duel meets The Car. It's a mini Maximum Overdrive, if you will. It's an interesting artifact from a bygone era, but it's also something you've probably seen done better elsewhere.

Rating: 53%

(Image from YouTube)

Christmas Eve on Sesame Street

The handmade charm of Sesame Street in the 1970s is on full display in Christmas Eve on Sesame Street. The sets and the acting might be a little rough around the edges, but the special is still endearing despite these flaws. The main storyline involves Big Bird trying to figure out just how Santa Claus manages to get down people's chimneys to deliver presents on Christmas. There's also a section where Ernie and Bert essentially re-enact the Gift of the Magi. And there's a fun series of segments where Cookie Monster tries to write a letter to Santa, only to get hungry and devour the various things he was using to write his letter. But perhaps best of all, there's no Elmo.

Rating: Christmas Cookies%

(Image from Amazon)

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

In 1897, a young girl named Virginia O'Hanlon sent a letter to the editor of the New York Sun asking whether or not Santa Claus existed. The resulting response has since become one of the most reprinted newspaper editorials in the English language. The story of Virginia and her letter to the editor has also been adapted several times over the years, perhaps most notably in the 1974 Emmy Award-winning animated television special. The style of the special will be immediately recognizable to anyone familiar with the Peanuts canon of holiday specials as it was directed by Bill Melendez, who also directed A Charlie Brown Christmas. And despite some depictions of people of color which have not aged well, it is still a very charming special.

Rating: Stereoscopic Slides%

Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July

I gave up trying to understand the logic of Rankin/Bass specials a long time ago. Now, when I watch them, I just let the madness wash over me. It's so much easier that way. That said, I still had a hard time with Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July. It's a feature length special, which is way too long. Also, it takes two of the heaviest hitters from Rankin/Bass' roster of Christmas characters and puts them in a circus in the summertime. I did actually like that they retconned Rudolph's backstory. He now has a convoluted origin for his shiny nose. Unfortunately, turning Frosty into a stop motion animated character did nothing to elevate him in my opinion. He still sucks. They did a good job setting up the villain, the evil King Winterbolt. And there were snow dragons and a creepy ice genie and even a corrupt reindeer named Scratcher. So, I guess I'm saying, it wasn't very good but it had some good elements. Not recommended, unless you are a Rankin/Bass completist.

Rating: Toy Boat%

A Bionic Christmas Carol

After a devastating crash, astronaut Colonel Steve Austin's body is rebuilt with bionic appendages. He then reluctantly goes to work for OSI, the Office of Scientific Intelligence. His new boss at OSI, Oscar Goldman, sends Steve out on various covert missions. Recovering hostages, stopping terrorists, fighting Bigfoot. You know, boring government stuff. "A Bionic Christmas Carol" finds Steve investigating possible sabotage at a government contractor's facility. Instead of sabotage, Steve finds only the miserly Mr. Budge. While it turns out that Mr. Budge is not doing anything illegal, he is guilty of being a real prick. Forcing his employees to work through Christmas and treating his nephew, Bob Crandall, like shit. When Mr. Budge accidentally overdoses, Steve uses it as an opportunity to teach Mr. Budge the error of his ways. Come for the heartwarming story, stay for the sequence where Steve carves a tombstone from a slab using only karate chops.

Rating: Forgiveness%

Christmas Story/Hash/Toys

Much like The Andy Griffith Show, Barney Miller was never a show that interested me. It would pop up in reruns all the time but I never watched it. I don't know if it was the production quality or the 70s fashions, but it just always seemed like a Dad show. And I mean that literally because my father was a fan of the show. Watching it now, I can't get over just how minimalist the whole thing was. I don't know if it was just the three episodes I watched, but the whole show plays out with only two sets. And one of those sets is just an office off of the main set. In "Christmas Story," Fish goes undercover to nab a mugger who's been targeting department store Santas. In "Hash," Wojo unknowingly brings a batch of hash brownies into the office. And in "Toys," Barney needs to balance his work life and his turbulent personal life, all while some feuding toy sellers squabble in the bullpen. Admittedly, only two of those episodes are actually Christmas themed, but I wasn't going to pass up the chance to watch Abe Vigoda act stoned.

Rating: Toothbrush%

(Image from IMDB)

A Cosmic Christmas

Stop me if you've heard this one before. A young boy encounters three wise aliens who have come to Earth to discover the true meaning of Christmas. The young boy and his pet goose, Lucy, take the aliens all around town trying to show them the reason for the season. Mostly, they just encounter people being shitty to one another. I guess some things never really change. Eventually, all the townsfolk come together to rescue our lead and a punk-ass goose thief after they fall through the ice on a lake. The aliens, content that they finally understand the true meaning of Christmas, take off and everyone in town has a rip-roaring house party.

Rating: Goose Sweater%

(Image from Nelvana.com)

Frosty's Winter Wonderland

It might be a bit of a stretch to call Frosty's Winter Wonderland a Christmas special. The holiday isn't even mentioned by name at any point. But, Wikipedia calls it a Christmas special and I would hate to think that I wasted 25 minutes watching this thing for no reason. Winter Wonderland is a sequel to the original Rankin/Bass Frosty the Snowman special. A few years after the events of that first special, Frosty decides to make good on his promise to come "back again some day." Only this time around, Frosty seems a little depressed. The children decide that Frosty needs a wife and so they go about building him one. All the while, a jealous Jack Frost is determined to steal Frosty's magic hat and become the object of everyone's wintery affection. The kids also make a parson out of snow, who comes to life after they put a Bible in its hands. So, you know, fun for the whole family.

Rating: A Bouquet of Frost Flowers%

The Dæmons

There's something extraordinarily era-appropriate about a Doctor Who serial steeped in black magic and the occult. And while I've never seen The Wicker Man, I have seen Radiohead's music video for "Burn the Witch." It certainly came to mind a few times while watching The Dæmons. This serial, in particular, is a pretty good encapsulation of the Jon Pertwee era so far, with the Doctor and his UNIT friends battling the Master and his unwitting allies for the fate of the world. The story is well paced with lots of action. And even though I'm sure that the plot wouldn't hold up to any real scrutiny the serial is still enjoyable overall.

Rating: Naturally%

Benji's Very Own Christmas Story

I can remember liking Benji as a kid, but I'm not too sure what the attraction was. He can't talk. He doesn't have superpowers. I think he went scuba diving once. Aside from that, I'm at a loss. So, it was with that curiosity that I decided to watch Benji's Very Own Christmas Story. And now, I'm only left with more questions. Benji hardly does anything in the special. Most of the time we're following a creepy Kris Kringle and the helium voiced little people in his employ. They're not all little people though, they mix in quite a few children as well. All of whom are wearing ugly prosthetic ears, noses and mustaches, regardless of gender. Oh, and let's not forget about the culturally insensitive costumes and the children in blackface. So, in the end, no new insights into the Benji phenomenon were gleaned from watching this special.

Rating: A squeaky chew toy%

(Image from Ebay)

Duel

Before lighting the world on fire with Jaws, Steven Spielberg was a struggling director. Unable to get the material and opportunities he wanted because of his young age and lack of experience, he threw himself into directing for television. His first real breakout success came with the 1971 Movie of the Week Duel. The original TV movie received such acclaim that it was eventually padded out with some extra scenes and was released as a feature film in Europe. The most easily accessible version of the movie today is the European cut, which can definitely feel a little overlong at times. This movie is definitely a must-watch for Spielberg fans though. There are so many hints at where he'll go as a film maker in the first decade or so of his career. The masterful use of tension and release that proves so effective later in Jaws is here. The use of snakes and spiders and the incredible shots of cars and trucks moving at high speed that work so well in Raiders of the Lost Ark are here as well. Duel is the filmic equivalent of the basement tapes that proceed a great album.

Rating: A Valiant Effort%

(Image from IMDB)