Meatballs Part II

There’s trouble at Camp Sasquatch when the camp across the lake, Camp Patton, threatens to revoke Camp Sasquatch’s access to the lake. What’s a Summer Camp without a lake? Going for a Hail Mary, Coach Giddy strikes a deal Colonel Hershy, whichever camp wins the Champ of the Lake boxing match at the end of the Summer wins the rights to the lake. After Camp Patton takes out Boomer, Camp Sasquatch’s boxing hopeful, it’s up to a juvenile delinquent counselor-in-training named Flash to save the day. Spoiler alert: he gets some help from a visiting alien named Meathead. Meatballs Part II is a goofy 80s comedy that wants to be edgy and raunchy at times but never crosses the PG line. The cast includes Richard Mulligan, Kim Richards, John Larroquette, Paul Reubens, Archie Hahn, Jason Hervey and Donald Gibb. Meatballs Part II is a dumb movie filled with tons of gags, many of which have not aged well, but it maintains an easygoing charm.

Rating: 61%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: In one scene, some of the campers are seen watching director Ken Wiederhorn's 1977 Nazi zombie movie Shock Waves.

Meatballs

If you don't think about it too hard, Meatballs is actually a beautiful movie. It's the story of an idyllic Summer filled with friendship, romance and personal development. Of course, once you get past that, Meatballs is also a story about hot dog eating contests, spying on girls and pantsing your rivals. Meatballs was also Bill Murray's breakout film and, as a word of warning, if you're not a fan of his early manic antics, then this is not the movie for you. While I would consider Meatballs to be a particularly raucous and ribald comedy, it's not nearly as raunchy as its sequels. In the grand pantheon on Summer camp cinema, it's a fairly chaste film. 

Rating: 69%

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Hot to Trot

After his mother passes away, Fred inherits a talking horse and half of his stepfather's stock brokerage. Rather than selling off his half of the brokerage, Fred tries to make it in the world of high finance. And he begins to find success, thanks to stock tips from an unlikely source: Don, the talking horse. No, really. Because John Candy provides the voice of the talking horse, Hot to Trot has been on my radar ever since it was first released but I only recently watched it for the first time. It's not very good, but I didn't hate it. I'm not sure I'll ever watch it again, but I didn't hate it. The premise of the movie is pretty old school, something like a cross between a Marx Brothers movie and a wacky live action Disney movie from the 70s. There's plenty of great people in the movie like Bobcat Goldthwait, Dabney Coleman, Burgess Meredith, Tim Kazurinsky and Gilbert Gottfried. And yet, it's still not a very good movie. But, I didn't hate it.

Rating: 56%

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Fun Fact: Bobcat Goldthwait and Tim Kazurinsky were both in Police Academy 2, 3 and 4.

Ski School

Hoping to impress some prospective buyers, the manager of a ski resort decides to crack down on some of the resort's less desirable elements. At the top of the list, Dave Marshak and the party animals of ski school's Section 8. As a movie, Ski School is a pretty good amalgamation of the goofier parts of Ski Patrol and the hornier parts of Hot Dog... The Movie. It has its own comedic sensibility, which helps to set it apart from those other films. Much like Ski Patrol, Ski School was shot at a time when the 90s hadn't quite established its own identity yet. And, because of that, the amount of neon clothing in Ski School is staggering.

Rating: 69% (Party!)

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Snowboard Academy

Chris and Paul Barry are complete opposites. Chris lives to shred fresh powder and Paul can't stand his brother's carefree snowboarding ways. With their family's ski resort struggling financially, Chris tries to convince his father that setting up a snowboarding school is just what they need to turn things around. But as soon as things start to improve, the insurance company insists on an inspection and Mr. Barry's estranged wife hatches a plan to sabotage the resort. Despite only being 88 minutes long, Snowboard Academy is a slog. The plot limps along with no sense of urgency. Several characters have terrible, unnecessary accents. And Jim Varney's warmed over Ernest shtick doesn't really work here.

Rating: 50%

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Summer Rental

After being forced to take some time off from his stressful job as an air traffic controller, Jack Chester packs up the car and drives his family down to Citrus Cove, Florida. Between the noisy neighbors and the overcrowded beaches, the vacation is far from smooth sailing (pun intended, you'll see.) Things only get worse for Jack after he runs afoul of Al Pellet, a big-time townie snob played by Rambo's Richard Crenna. Much like The Great Outdoors, Summer Rental is light on plot. Whether or not the movie succeeds will depend on your appreciation of John Candy's comedic stylings. Crenna is great in the villain role. And Rip Torn plays Scully, a local restaurateur who helps Jack learn how to sail. There's a great scene where Jack and Scully get drunk and play darts, which is a microcosm of the film overall, it's goofy but it's also heartfelt.

Rating: 74%

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Spring Break

Due to an overbooking mishap, two Spring Break newbies get paired up with some seasoned party animals. Bawdy hijinks ensue. Technically, there is a little bit more to the movie than that but nobody ever watched Spring Break for the subplots about political campaigns and shady real estate deals. It's a movie that was made for people who wanted to see boobs and butts on the big screen. Spring Break definitely tries to replicate some of the humor and debauchery of movies like Porky's and Animal House, but never quite manages to achieve those heights.

Rating: 62%

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Police Academy

A new mayor decrees that the Police Academy must accept all applicants regardless of height, weight, strength or ability. And it's not long before they start coming out of the woodwork. The worst of the worst end up in D Squad, D as in dirtbag, where Lieutenant Harris runs the cadets ragged, hoping to convince them to drop out. But the cadets face their first real test after a massive riot breaks out in the city. The original Police Academy, the only entry in the series to be rated R, has to be on the Mount Rushmore of raunchy 80s comedies. I grew up on these films, so I can appreciate them for what they are, but they're definitely a hard sell due to their casual racism, sexism, homophobia and the fact that so many people hate cops nowadays. But, damn, if Michael Winslow doesn't make you laugh then you might not have a sense of humor.

Rating: 72%

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Hot Dog ...The Movie

Harkin Banks, a wide-eyed bumpkin from Idaho, travels to California to compete in a skiing competition. On his first night, Harkin comes into conflict with the local ski champ, Rudolph "Rudi" Garmisch. But, luckily for Harkin, he soon falls in with a group of fun-loving goofballs who call themselves the Rat Pack. Can Harkin defeat Rudi and win the competition or will all the babes and partying get in the way? Hot Dog ...The Movie is a lot trashier than I remembered. I always though Ski School was the horniest ski comedy but Hot Dog ...The Movie certainly gives it a run for its money. Hot Dog isn't a particularly well made movie but it might have more boobs per minute than any other ski comedy.

Rating: 59%

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The Great Outdoors

For Chet Ripley, it was going to be the perfect vacation. A week on the lake in Wisconsin, far from the hustle and bustle of Chicago. Nothing but fishing, family bonding and hot dogs. But that was before Chet's brother-in-law Roman showed up. As much as I love The Great Outdoors, it's a bit of a shaggy dog story. The crux of the plot doesn't really come in to play until the third act. Based on the film's trailer, there were probably a number of deleted or alternate scenes that didn't make the final cut. And, given the movie's lukewarm reception, there likely won't be a Planes, Trains and Automobiles-style home video release containing the lost footage. That said, I couldn't care less. I grew up watching The Great Outdoors and have endless affection for John Candy and Dan Aykroyd.

Rating: 80%

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Better Off Dead

Lane Myer, played by John Cusack, gets dumped by his girlfriend, sending him into a suicidal depression. And the laughs just keep coming. No, seriously. Better Off Dead is Savage Steve Holland's debut feature film. A sort of surreal "Mad Magazine Guide to Teenage Depression." Much like his second film, One Crazy Summer, Better Off Dead is filled with cartoony visual gags and wacky character actors. It's a bit of a shaggy dog story, with several vignettes that don't really advance the plot. But that's part of the movie's charm. If nothing else, you need to know that this movie features a sequence where a stop motion animated hamburger rocks out to a Van Halen track. Because if that doesn't pique your interest, nothing will.

Rating: 77%

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Fun Fact: Amanda Wyss, who played Lane's ex-girlfriend Beth, also played Tina in the original A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Ski Patrol

A greedy real estate developer hatches a scheme to steal a profitable ski lodge away from Pops and his beloved, but wacky, Ski Patrol. Ski Patrol and its much hornier counterpart Ski School come from the mysterious era at the beginning of the 1990s, when the 1980s hadn't quite died yet. It's neon and big hair as far as the eye can see. What sets Ski Patrol apart from similar films is the cast. The movie features performances from Martin Mull, Ray Walston, Paul Feig, T.K. Carter, and George Lopez, among others. Made by some of the folks behind the Police Academy series, Ski Patrol is packed with gags and hijinks. The sitcom-y score is aggressive at times, desperately underlining some of the jokes with bass riffs and saxophone squeals. And like so many films from its time, the "ethnic" humor now sticks out like a sore thumb.

Rating: 68%

(Image from IMDB)

Fun Fact: Ski Patrol features not one, but two Friday the 13th alumni. Roger Rose was in Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives and Leslie Jordan was in Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday.

One Crazy Summer

John Cusack stars as Hoops McCann, an aspiring animator in search of inspiration and romance. He ends up finding a little bit of both after accepting an invitation to spend the summer in Nantucket. One Crazy Summer is an 80s movie through and through: it’s got a rich, blonde bully, a greedy real estate developer and a winner-take-all race at the finale. It also has a lot of personality; the movie is filled with absurdist gags and blink-and-you’ll-miss-them visual jokes. The cast is great too, with performances from Cusack, Demi Moore, Bobcat Goldthwait, Curtis Armstrong, Joel Murray, Joe Flaherty, Jeremy Piven, Taylor Negron and the mean guy from that Twisted Sister video. One Crazy Summer has it all: comedy, romance, cartoon rhinos, crossbows, cute fuzzy bunnies, a giant dolphin with rabies and a guy stuck in a Godzilla suit destroying a model village. Truly, something for everyone.

Rating: 71%

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Joysticks

Jefferson Bailey's arcade is the place to be. The nerds love it, the punks love it and, most importantly, the babes love it. In fact, it seems like the only one in town who doesn't love the arcade is local business man Joseph Rutter. Rutter and his two blundering nephews will stop at nothing to close down the arcade. It's up to Jefferson Bailey and his employees to save the arcade, snag the babes, and finally defeat King Vidiot in an epic video game duel.

And if you've read this far, it should come as no surprise that it isn't a very good movie. It's fitting to call it an exploitation film. It's dumb and it's sleazy and it isn't very well made. It's surprising that they were able to get permission to use Pac-Man so prominently in the movie. If you're into character actors, it's worth noting that Joe Don Baker and Jon Gries (The Monster Squad) are in the movie. Other than that, I can only recommend it to hardcore connoisseurs of 1980s trash.

Rating: 52%

(Image from IMDB)