Star Trek - "The Conscience of the King"

A former mass murdering dictator faked his death and reinvented himself as a famous actor traveling the cosmos performing Shakespeare's second most violent play, which if you ask me is a little conspicuous.

RATING: 65%

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Dawson's Creek with fairies and ecstasy. I'm working on a postmodern version that ends when a jealous Oberon puts a bullet in Donkey Kong's frontal lobe and no one ever has to hear another word about the fucking play-within-a-play. You're welcome.

RATING: A grudging 70%

(Image from www.proprofs.com.)

As You Like It

All the world's a stage, and Shakespeare's most indomitable heroine is a woman playing a man playing a woman, played by a man. Still, it's kinda sexist that the women get married instead of becoming CEO's, and no one passes a law saying Rosalind can marry Celia or Phoebe if she wants, so I guess the Bard was a pretty big bastard after all.

RATING: Martha Stewart%

(Image from www.mythicjourneys.org.)

King Lear

King Lear is a book about an old man who lives in a cave with his 3 daughters, Ronald Reagan, Gonorrhea, and something. He asks them to tell him how much they love him and 2 of them say "we love you alot" and the other one says "nothing" so he's like "WTF?" so then they pop some guy's eyes out and then he pretends to jump off a cliff or whatever and they all die. Will this be on the exam?

RATING: C

(Image from heystudents.com.)

Hamlet 2

Hamlet 2 is an attempt to spoof the "inspiriational teacher" genre of film. It stars Steve Coogan (who was pretty good in A Cock and Bull Story) as a drama teacher who writes a sequel to Hamlet in which Jesus and Hamlet Jr. use a time machine to prevent the tragic events of the original play. Said play is performed by a predominantly hispanic drama class against the wishes of the school administration and the community at large, who (SPOILER ALERT!) are surprised and delighted with the result. This film is far too stupid to actually satirize anything, and is only saved from being pure garbage (à la Meet the Spartans) by the play-within-a-movie's bizarre premise and the montage of its performance near the movie's end. With 20+ I.Q. points and the tiniest bit of research into what drama and education are actually like, Hamlet 2 probably could have amounted to more than a clichéd Hollywood depiction of more Hollywood clichés, executed with stupidity and bad taste. Oh well.

RATING: Hamlet 2: 40%
Catherine Keener: Hot%

(Image from www.impawards.com.)

Sandman Vol. 3: Dream Country

Sandman, as I'm sure you all know, is one of the greatest comic series of all time, depicting the god of dreams, Dream, and his conflicts that usually involve an encyclopedic array of various mythological characters and elements. If you've never read it before, you really, really should. Unfortunately, you shouldn't start with this volume which is just four one off stories that only barely feature Dream and his posse at all. They're good, but they're just filler. The best story in this collection in my opinion is one involving a writer who has kidnapped one of the muses to use as his own personal sex slave/inspiration. The best story in this collection according to everybody else on Earth is one involving William Shakespeare being commissioned by Dream to write and perform A Midsummer Night's Dream. Anyway, start with Season of Mists but this is fine I guess.

RATING: 63%

Richard III

This movie is really boring. Basically it is the story of Richard III, Shakespeare's famous play about a big douchebag, but it is set in a fictional 1930s fascist England. Ian McKellan plays Richard III, so that is good, but Robert Downey Jr. and Anette Benning ruin the movie even worse than it's incredible blandness. Anyway, I should have found a way to teach Titus Andronicus in retrospect because this one didn't work out.

RATING: 36%

Strange Brew

Well this is a Canadian movie following the exploits of two alcoholic brothers in their quest for beer. It's pretty stupid, but it's also really funny, and loosely based on Hamlet. We'll see how my students like watching it next week.

RATING: 71%

West Side Story

This movie is a lot better than I remember it. Natalie Wood's acting and accent are tres ridiculous and pretty racist, but apart from that it's solid. Robert "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" Wise directs a great visual movie, with a lot of terrific symmetrical shots and some songs that are great. I love all the long shots, for example. Also it's tough not to sing along with songs like "I Feel Pretty" especially when I feel so pretty.

RATING: 81%

Romeo And Juliet by William Shakespeare

This play is actually pretty funny until Mercutio gets killed (spoilers). Then it devolves into whining and dying. So I guess it's kind of enjoyable but then falls apart 3 or 4 acts in. Still, Shakespeare.

RATING: 71%