Zaitzeff

Zaitzeff is one of New York City's many popular burger joints, and is known for serving beef that is free-range, antibiotic and hormone-free and for hand-cut, skillet fried sweet and regular potato fries. I was excited to try it out for lunch Friday, but left sadly disappointed. My friend and I split one each of a kobe and a sirloin burger. Both of these were obviously great beef, cooked perfectly to a wonderful texture, and served on tasty Portuguese muffins...all makings of a great burger. BUT, the meat was sadly lacking in the flavor department. Honestly, I think it just need more salt to wake up all that great meat.* The fries were also almost great, but suffered from the same total lack of salting. I'll definitely go back in the hope that they were just on an off day, but on this occasion I was disappointed by the unrealized potential for a great burger. So sad.


Rating: 76%

*That's what she said.

(Photo from A Hamburger Today.)

Reviews Reviews Reviews

So there's yet another blog called Reviews Reviews Reviews. This one only reviews restaurants in the Philippines. I guess that's what you'd call a "niche blog." I think the title is pretty misleading, though. It should just be Reviews. I bet we review more top meat than they do. Chris Loll is a regular bear for his top meat.

RATING: 60%

(Picture from forums.cybernations.net. You wouldn't believe how much stupid Star Wars shit comes up when you google "clone".)

DIckey's BBQ

I'm of 2 minds about Dickey's BBQ: those giant smoked turkey legs they peddle at the state fair are dope, but their restaurants are another matter. First off, the layout is really confusing, and I almost ended up going the wrong way through their self-service line. The sausage was alright, if salty, but I hate how they cut it up into bite sized chunks before it even gets onto your plate. The brisket was so wet it was like they'd drowned the animal to death before smoking it. The mac and cheese was bland (and it's not a vegetable), and the green beans were soggy and tasteless. The biscuit started off OK, but it got nasty sitting in all the water from my brisket and/or green beans.

Next time you're in Dallas (and by "Dallas" I mean Richardson) don't go to Dickey's BBQ. Even if you don't enter at the wrong end, you'll probably just end up with a double handful of wet, salty meat and a soggy biscuit to boot.

RATING: 32%

(Image from http://fiveprime.org. Next time you're looking for an avalanche of porn, try googling "wet meat.")

Christian's Totem

At this disgusting looking shack in Houston you'll find one of the best hamburgers you'll ever eat in your life. Also, it will probably give you a heart attack. But it's delicious, and really does turn the paper on the plate transparent. If you go here, you really have to get past the way it looks on the outside and on the inside just to get the great hamburgers that they offer.

RATING: 84%

House Of Pies

This is a great sort of bad diner in Houston that I will probably take you to if you come to visit. You can get breakfast whenever, and also pies which are pretty good. Well, if it was called House Of Desks I would expect them to have good desks. One bad thing is the trout. Don't have that.

RATING: 79%

Houston's Famous Deli

I've lived in my apartment for two and a half years and I never checked out this place even though it is right next door. It turns out it ain't half bad. It's only a little more than half good, however. I guess it's a bit pricey for the quality, but the distance factor makes up for it. If you live in my apartment complex, I highly recommend it.

RATING: 57%