Jack's Pumpkin Spice Ale

A Month Of Halloweenie Reviews #27

When you're sitting around drinking your Michelob Ultra, do you ever think to yourself "Boy, this would taste great with a subtle pumpkin aroma and notes of cinnamon spice?" No, you don't, because you don't fucking drink Michelob Ultra, I don't fucking drink Michelob Ultra, and nobody in his right mind fucking drinks Michelob Ultra. Capital yucky.

RATING: 19%

Arrogant Bastard Ale

Drinking Stone's Arrogant Bastard Ale is like getting raped in the mouth by a bear made of hops--you keep telling yourself it shouldn't be physically possible, but it's happening just the same. When you're done weeping in a fetal position, you should get yourself a six pack of their excellent IPA and leave this stuff to the freaks with tattoos on their faces.

RATING: 50% (it comes in a quart, OK?)

(Image from www.slosar.com.)

Bun Dae Gi

Don't let the name fool you--it's not a bun! Bun dae gi are silkworm larvae stewed in a nasty broth and beloved by Koreans of all ages. In Seoul, you can usually smell them cooking for about 2 blocks before you actually see them--it's a rich, pungent odour sorta like the putrid womb of an insectoid Whore of Babylon. A student of mine told me that bun dae gi get even better if you let them sit for a while in their little paper cup until they're cold and chewy. Want my advice? Get a Big Mac. Yes, it's tacky to eat McDonald's abroad, but Koreans will be so busy looking for your tail that they won't even notice what you have in your hand.

RATING: Chewy-squirty%

(Image from www.thesneeze.com, whose fantastic feature "Steve, Don't Eat It!" is always a treat.)