People Who Refer To "Star Wars" as "Episode IV" or "A New Hope"

You think I'd willingly see a movie called "A New Hope?" It sounds like it should star Kirk Cameron and detail how all the ways I enjoy life are leading me to Hell. I'm not sure when the shift from Star Wars to Episode IV happened exactly, but I'm 99% sure that it wasn't until George Lucas started adding digital fart jokes into his movies as he always intended back in 1997, so we can probably call a moratorium on that garbaggio now, s'il vous plait.

RATING: 31%

The Original Star Wars Trilogy

#36 on Glenn's Top 100 Movie List

Well, duh I guess. We can all acknowledge that the prequel trilogy is pretty bad, from any point of view. Politics, trade disputes, whining, Jar Jar, almost no humor or any other emotion, senate disagreements, kid Boba Fett, UGH. But the original trilogy is still amazing because it never takes itself seriously, and also has the voice of Han Solo winking at the audience about how ridiculous a movie about laser swords and furry monkeys flying space ships is. They're still great fun even if Boba Fett gets eaten by some stupid hole in the ground (Spoilers).

RATING: 93%

Raiders Of The Lost Ark

#53 on Glenn's Top 100 Movie List

Well, Duh.

RATING: 95%

Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Cyrstal Skull

By now you've probably seen this or heard it was not good, so hate to be redundant. I saw this the other day, and while it was not terrible, it was also not very good. It was a lot of fun, I'll admit, but it was one thing the other Indiana Jones movies weren't: stupid. Sure, a lot of ridiculous stuff happens in those movies (like this one), but they never felt like just plain dumb summer fun, which this one did. Anyway, one thing I never thought I'd say before this summer's movie season was done is that I liked Speed Racer a lot more than Indiana Jones, but there you have it. Sometimes you get an apple pie and sometimes somebody gives you a brick with your name carved in it, and while a brick with your name carved in it is certainly nice, apple pie is way more delicious. I don't know what I was getting at with that metaphor.

RATING: 68%

American Graffiti

#90 in Glenn's Top 100 Movie List

This movie is so much fun to watch, and has about a billionty classic scenes (old harpers'? Wolfman Jack?) Sometimes, I kind of wish George Lucas never made Star Wars so that he could have taken his career in a direction of movies based more on character. But then we wouldn't have lightsabers and shit like that. So never mind.

RATING: 87%